The Two Gentlemen of Verona Read online

PROTEUS Know, noble lord, they have devised a mean

  How he her chamber-window will ascend,

  And with a corded ladder fetch her down:

  For which, the youthful lover now is gone,

  And this way comes he with it presently,

  Where, if it please you, you may intercept him.

  But, good my lord, do it so cunningly

  That my discovery be not aimed at:45

  For love of you, not hate unto my friend,

  Hath made me publisher of this pretence.47

  DUKE Upon mine honour, he shall never know

  That I had any light49 from thee of this.

  PROTEUS Adieu, my lord: Sir Valentine is coming.

  [Exit Proteus]

  [Enter Valentine]

  DUKE Sir Valentine, whither away51 so fast?

  VALENTINE Please it your grace, there is a messenger

  That stays to bear my letters to my friends,

  And I am going to deliver them.

  DUKE Be they of much import?

  VALENTINE The tenor56 of them doth but signify

  My health and happy being at your court.

  DUKE Nay then, no matter. Stay with me awhile:

  I am to break59 with thee of some affairs

  That touch me near60, wherein thou must be secret.

  'Tis not unknown to thee that I have sought

  To match my friend Sir Turio to my daughter.

  VALENTINE I know it well, my lord, and sure the match

  Were rich and honourable: besides, the gentleman

  Is full of virtue, bounty65, worth and qualities

  Beseeming66 such a wife as your fair daughter.

  Cannot your grace win her to fancy him?

  DUKE No, trust me, she is peevish, sullen, froward,68

  Proud, disobedient, stubborn, lacking duty,

  Neither regarding70 that she is my child

  Nor fearing me as if I were71 her father.

  And, may I say to thee, this pride of hers,

  Upon advice73, hath drawn my love from her,

  And, where I thought the remnant of mine age74

  Should have been cherished by her child-like duty,

  I now am full resolved to take a wife

  And turn her out to who77 will take her in:

  Then let her beauty be her wedding-dower,78

  For me and my possessions she esteems79 not.

  VALENTINE What would your grace have me to do in this?

  DUKE There is a lady in Verona here

  Whom I affect: but she is nice82 and coy,

  And nought esteems my aged eloquence.83

  Now therefore would I have thee to my tutor--

  For long agone I have forgot to court,85

  Besides, the fashion of the time is changed--

  How and which way I may bestow myself87

  To be regarded88 in her sun-bright eye.

  VALENTINE Win her with gifts, if she respect not words:

  Dumb jewels often in their silent kind90

  More than quick91 words do move a woman's mind.

  DUKE But she did scorn a present that I sent her.

  VALENTINE A woman sometime scorns what best contents her.

  Send her another: never give her o'er,94

  For scorn at first makes after-love the more.95

  If she do frown, 'tis not in hate of you,

  But rather to beget97 more love in you.

  If she do chide, 'tis not to have you gone,

  Forwhy,99 the fools are mad, if left alone.

  Take no repulse, whatever she doth say,

  For101 'get you gone', she doth not mean 'away!'

  Flatter and praise, commend, extol their graces:102

  Though ne'er so black103, say they have angels' faces.

  That man that hath a tongue, I say is no man

  If with his tongue105 he cannot win a woman.

  DUKE But she I mean is promised by her friends106

  Unto a youthful gentleman of worth,

  And kept severely from resort of men,

  That109 no man hath access by day to her.

  VALENTINE Why then I would resort to her by night.

  DUKE Ay, but the doors be locked and keys kept safe,

  That no man hath recourse to her by night.

  VALENTINE What lets113 but one may enter at her window?

  DUKE Her chamber is aloft, far from the ground,

  And built so shelving115 that one cannot climb it

  Without apparent hazard of his life.

  VALENTINE Why then, a ladder quaintly117 made of cords

  To cast up, with a pair of anchoring hooks,118

  Would serve to scale another Hero's tower,119

  So120 bold Leander would adventure it.

  DUKE Now, as thou art a gentleman of blood,121

  Advise me where I may have such a ladder.

  VALENTINE When would you use it? Pray, sir, tell me that.

  DUKE This very night; for Love is like a child

  That longs for everything that he can come by.

  VALENTINE By seven o'clock I'll get you such a ladder.

  DUKE But, hark thee: I will go to her alone.

  How shall I best convey the ladder thither?

  VALENTINE It will be light, my lord, that you may bear it

  Under a cloak that is of any length.130

  DUKE A cloak as long as thine will serve the turn?131

  VALENTINE Ay, my good lord.

  DUKE Then let me see thy cloak:

  I'll get me one of such another134 length.

  VALENTINE Why, any cloak will serve the turn, my lord.

  DUKE How shall I fashion me136 to wear a cloak?

  I pray thee, let me feel thy cloak upon me.

  Takes Valentine's cloak and discovers a letter and a rope ladder concealed under it

  What letter is this same?138 What's here? 'To Silvia'!

  And here an engine fit for my proceeding.139

  I'll be so bold to break the seal for once.

  Reads

  'My thoughts do harbour141 with my Silvia nightly,

  And slaves they are to me that send them flying.

  O, could their master come and go as lightly,143

  Himself would lodge where, senseless, they are lying.144

  My herald thoughts in thy pure bosom rest them,145

  While I, their king, that thither them importune,146

  Do curse the grace that with such grace147 hath blessed them,

  Because myself do want my servants148' fortune.

  I curse myself, for they are sent by me,

  That they should harbour where their lord should be.'

  What's here?

  'Silvia, this night I will enfranchise152 thee.'

  'Tis so: and here's the ladder for the purpose.

  Why, Phaeton -- for thou art Merops' son154--

  Wilt thou aspire to guide the heavenly car,

  And with thy daring folly burn the world?

  Wilt thou reach stars because they shine on thee?

  Go, base intruder, overweening slave,158

  Bestow thy fawning smiles on equal mates,159

  And think my patience, more than thy desert,160

  Is privilege for thy departure hence.

  Thank me for this more than for all the favours

  Which, all too much, I have bestowed on thee.

  But if thou linger in my territories

  Longer than swiftest expedition165

  Will give thee time to leave our royal court,

  By heaven, my wrath shall far exceed the love

  I ever bore my daughter or thyself.

  Be gone! I will not hear thy vain excuse,

  But as thou lov'st thy life, make speed from hence.

  [Exit]

  VALENTINE And why not death, rather than living torment?

  To die is to be banished from myself,

  And Silvia is myself: banished from her

  Is self from self. A deadly b
anishment:

  What light is light, if Silvia be not seen?

  What joy is joy, if Silvia be not by?176

  Unless it be to think that she is by

  And feed upon the shadow178 of perfection.

  Except179 I be by Silvia in the night,

  There is no music in the nightingale.

  Unless I look on Silvia in the day,

  There is no day for me to look upon.

  She is my essence, and I leave to be183

  If I be not by her fair influence184

  Fostered, illumined185, cherished, kept alive.

  I fly not death, to fly his deadly doom:186

  Tarry I here, I but attend on187 death,

  But fly I hence, I fly away from life.

  [Enter Proteus and Lance]

  PROTEUS Run, boy, run, run, and seek him out.

  LANCE So-ho190, so-ho!

  PROTEUS What see'st thou?

  LANCE Him we go to find: there's not a hair192 on's head but

  'tis a Valentine.193

  PROTEUS Valentine?

  VALENTINE No.

  PROTEUS Who then? His spirit?196

  VALENTINE Neither.

  PROTEUS What then?

  VALENTINE Nothing.

  LANCE Can nothing speak? Master, shall I strike?

  PROTEUS Who wouldst thou strike?

  LANCE Nothing.

  PROTEUS Villain203, forbear.

  LANCE Why, sir, I'll strike nothing.204 I pray you--

  PROTEUS Sirrah, I say forbear. Friend Valentine, a word.

  VALENTINE My ears are stopped206 and cannot hear good news,

  So much of bad already hath possessed them.

  PROTEUS Then in dumb silence will I bury mine,208

  For they are harsh, untuneable and bad.

  VALENTINE Is Silvia dead?

  PROTEUS No, Valentine.

  VALENTINE No Valentine212 indeed, for sacred Silvia.

  Hath she forsworn213 me?

  PROTEUS No, Valentine.

  VALENTINE No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn me.

  What is your news?

  LANCE Sir, there is a proclamation that you are vanished.217

  PROTEUS That thou art banished -- O, that's the news--

  From hence, from Silvia, and from me thy friend.

  VALENTINE O, I have fed upon this woe already,

  And now excess of it will make me surfeit.221

  Doth Silvia know that I am banished?

  PROTEUS Ay, ay: and she hath offered to the doom--223

  Which unreversed stands in effectual force--

  A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears:

  Those at her father's churlish feet she tendered,226

  With them, upon her knees, her humble self,

  Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became228 them

  As if but now they waxed229 pale for woe.

  But neither bended knees, pure hands held up,

  Sad sighs, deep groans, nor silver-shedding tears

  Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire;232

  But Valentine, if he be ta'en, must die.

  Besides, her intercession chafed234 him so,

  When she for thy repeal was suppliant,235

  That to close236 prison he commanded her,

  With many bitter threats of biding237 there.

  VALENTINE No more, unless the next word that thou speak'st

  Have some malignant239 power upon my life:

  If so, I pray thee breathe it in mine ear,

  As ending anthem of my endless dolour.241

  PROTEUS Cease to lament for that thou canst not help,

  And study243 help for that which thou lament'st:

  Time is the nurse and breeder of all good.

  Here if thou stay, thou canst not see thy love:

  Besides, thy staying will abridge246 thy life.

  Hope is a lover's staff: walk hence with that

  And manage248 it against despairing thoughts.

  Thy letters may be here, though thou art hence,

  Which, being writ to me, shall be delivered

  Even in the milk-white bosom of thy love.251

  The time now serves not to expostulate:252

  Come, I'll convey thee through the city-gate,

  And ere I part with thee, confer at large254

  Of all that may concern thy love-affairs.

  As thou lov'st Silvia, though not for thyself,256

  Regard257 thy danger, and along with me.

  VALENTINE I pray thee, Lance, an if thou see'st my boy,258

  Bid him make haste and meet me at the North-gate.

  PROTEUS Go, sirrah, find him out. Come, Valentine.

  VALENTINE O, my dear Silvia! Hapless Valentine!

  [Exeunt Valentine and Proteus]

  LANCE I am but a fool, look you, and yet I have the wit to

  think my master is a kind of a knave: but that's all one, if he263

  be but one knave. He lives not now that264 knows me to be in

  love, yet I am in love, but a team of horse265 shall not pluck that

  from me, nor who 'tis I love: and yet 'tis a woman, but what

  woman, I will not tell myself: and yet 'tis a milkmaid, yet

  'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips: yet 'tis a maid268, for

  she is her master's maid, and serves269 for wages. She hath

  more qualities than a water-spaniel270, which is much in a

  Pulls out a paper

  bare Christian. Here is the cate-log of her condition.271

  'Imprimis:272 She can fetch and carry.' Why, a horse can

  do no more; nay, a horse cannot fetch273, but only carry,

  therefore is she better than a jade. 'Item: She can milk.'274 Look

  you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands.

  [Enter Speed]

  SPEED How now, Signior Lance? What news with your

  mastership?

  LANCE With my master's ship? Why, it is at sea.

  SPEED Well, your old vice279 still: mistake the word. What

  news, then, in your paper?

  LANCE The blackest news that ever thou heard'st.

  SPEED Why, man? How black?

  LANCE Why, as black as ink.

  SPEED Let me read them.

  LANCE Fie on thee, jolt-head285, thou canst not read.

  SPEED Thou liest: I can.

  LANCE I will try thee. Tell me this: who begot287 thee?

  SPEED Marry, the son of my grandfather.

  LANCE O illiterate loiterer! It was the son of thy

  grandmother: this proves that thou canst not read.

  SPEED Come, fool, come: try me in291 thy paper.

  Gives him the paper

  LANCE There: and Saint Nicholas be thy speed.292

  Reads

  SPEED 'Imprimis: She can milk.'

  LANCE Ay, that she can.

  SPEED 'Item: She brews good ale.'

  LANCE And thereof comes the proverb 'Blessing of your

  heart, you brew good ale.'

  SPEED 'Item: She can sew.'298

  LANCE That's as much as to say 'Can she so?'

  SPEED 'Item: She can knit.'

  LANCE What need a man care for a stock301 with a wench,

  when she can knit him a stock?302

  SPEED 'Item: She can wash and scour.'

  LANCE A special virtue, for then she need not be washed304

  and scoured.

  SPEED 'Item: She can spin.'306

  LANCE Then may I set the world on wheels307, when she can

  spin for her living.

  SPEED 'Item: She hath many nameless virtues.'309

  LANCE That's as much as to say 'bastard virtues310' that

  indeed know not their fathers, and therefore have no names.

  SPEED Here follow her vices.

  LANCE Close at the heels of her virtues.

  SPEED 'Item: She is not to be kissed fasting in respect of314 her

  breath.'
>
  LANCE Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast.

  Read on.

  SPEED 'Item: She hath a sweet mouth.'318

  LANCE That makes amends for her sour breath.

  SPEED 'Item: She doth talk in her sleep.'

  LANCE It's no matter for that, so she sleep321 not in her talk.

  SPEED 'Item: She is slow in words.'

  LANCE O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be

  slow in words is a woman's only virtue: I pray thee out

  with't, and place it for her chief virtue.

  SPEED 'Item: She is proud.'326

  LANCE Out with that too: it was Eve's legacy327, and cannot be

  ta'en from her.

  SPEED 'Item: She hath no teeth.'329

  LANCE I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.

  SPEED 'Item: She is curst.'331

  LANCE Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.

  SPEED 'Item: She will often praise333 her liquor.'

  LANCE If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I will,

  for good things should be praised.

  SPEED 'Item: She is too liberal.'336

  LANCE Of her tongue she cannot337, for that's writ down she

  is slow of: of her purse she shall not, for that I'll keep shut.

  Now, of another thing339 she may, and that cannot I help. Well,

  proceed.

  SPEED 'Item: She hath more hair than wit, and more faults

  than hairs, and more wealth than faults.'

  LANCE Stop there: I'll have her. She was mine and not

  mine, twice or thrice in that last article. Rehearse344 that once

  more.

  SPEED 'Item: She hath more hair than wit'--

  LANCE More hair than wit? It may be I'll prove347 it. The

  cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than348

  the salt; the hair that covers the wit is more than the wit, for

  the greater hides the less. What's next?

  SPEED 'And more faults than hairs'--

  LANCE That's monstrous: O, that that were out!352

  SPEED 'And more wealth than faults.'

  LANCE Why, that word makes the faults gracious.354 Well, I'll

  have her: and if it be a match, as nothing is impossible--

  SPEED What then?

  LANCE Why, then will I tell thee -- that thy master stays for

  thee at the North-gate.

  SPEED For me?

  LANCE For thee? Ay, who art thou? He hath stayed for a

  better man than thee.

  SPEED And must I go to him?

  LANCE Thou must run to him, for thou hast stayed so long

  that going will scarce serve the turn.

  SPEED Why didst not tell me sooner? Pox of365' your love

  letters!

  [Exit]

  LANCE Now will he be swinged367 for reading my letter; an

  unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into secrets. I'll368

  after, to rejoice in the boy's correction.

  Exit

  Act 3 Scene 2

  running scene 12

  Enter Duke [and] Turio

  DUKE Sir Turio, fear not but that she will love you,

  Now Valentine is banished from her sight.

  TURIO Since his exile she hath despised me most,

  Forsworn my company and railed4 at me,

  That5 I am desperate of obtaining her.