Much Ado About Nothing Read online

  Line Numbers in the left margin are editorial, for reference and to key the explanatory and textual notes.

  Explanatory Notes at the foot of each page explain allusions and gloss obsolete and difficult words, confusing phraseology, occasional major textual cruces, and so on. Particular attention is given to non-standard usage, bawdy innuendo, and technical terms (e.g. legal and military language). Where more than one sense is given, commas indicate shades of related meaning, slashes alternative or double meanings.

  Textual Notes at the end of the play indicate major departures from the Folio. They take the following form: the reading of our text is given in bold and its source given after an equals sign, with “Q” indicating that it derives from the Quarto of 1600, “F” from the First Folio of 1623, “F2” a reading from the Second Folio of 1632, and “Ed” from the subsequent editorial tradition. The rejected Folio (“F”) reading is then given. A selection of Quarto variants and plausible unadopted editorial readings is also included. Thus, for example: “3.1.106, ta’en = F. Q = limed.” This indicates that at Act 3 Scene 1 line 106 we have retained the Folio reading “ta’en” but that “limed” is an interestingly different reading in the Quarto.

  KEY FACTS

  MAJOR PARTS: (with percentage of lines/number of speeches/scenes on stage) Benedick (17%/134/8), Leonato (13%/120/9), Don Pedro (12%/135/8), Claudio (11%/125/8), Beatrice (10%/106/8), Dogberry (7%/52/4), Hero (5%/44/6), Borachio (5%/23/6), Don John (4%/40/6), Friar Francis (3%/16/2), Margaret (2%/26/3), Antonio (2%/23/4), Ursula (2%/19/3), Conrad (1%/23/1), Verges (1%/18/3), Balthasar (1%/11/2).

  LINGUISTIC MEDIUM: 30% verse, 70% prose.

  DATE: Late 1598. Not mentioned by Francis Meres in list of Shakespeare’s plays in Palladis Tamis (registered for publication September 1598), but included part for Will Kemp, who left Shakespeare’s acting company in early 1599.

  SOURCES: The Hero/Claudio plot of a deception leading to a false supposition of infidelity has many precedents in the sixteenth- century Italian romance tradition; Shakespeare’s primary sources seem to have been (1) the tale of Sir Timbreo and Fenicia in Matteo Bandello’s Novelle, which included characters of Piero King of Aragon and Lionato of Messina (in Italian, 1554, no English translation, but Shakespeare might have known the French translation of Pierre de Belleforest, Histoires Tragiques, 1569), and (2) the tale of Renaldo and Ginevra in Ariosto’s Orlando Furioso, book 5 (English translation by Sir John Harington, 1591). The Beatrice and Benedick plot is Shakespeare’s innovation, though witty couples and characters who scorn love only to fall in love themselves have comic precedents, notably in the plays of John Lyly.

  TEXT: Quarto published 1600, probably printed from Shakespeare’s manuscript or a transcript of it. Generally good quality of printing. On some occasions, actors’ names instead of characters’ appear in the speech headings (Kemp for Dogberry and Cowley for Verges). Folio printed from Quarto, though with some reference to a playhouse manuscript; extra stage directions inserted, also act divisions; some corrections and some errors introduced. Our text restores Quarto readings in cases judged to be compositor error, but retains Folio where changes appear to be intentional.

  MUCH ADO

  ABOUT NOTHING

  LIST OF PARTS

  DON PEDRO, Prince of Aragon

  BENEDICK, a lord from Padua companion to Don Pedro

  CLAUDIO, a lord from Florence companion to Don Pedro

  BALTHASAR, a singer, attendant upon Don Pedro

  A BOY, servant to Benedick

  DON JOHN, illegitimate brother of Don Pedro

  BORACHIO, follower of Don John

  CONRAD, follower of Don John

  LEONATO, governor of Messina

  INNOGEN, his silent wife

  HERO, his daughter

  BEATRICE, his niece, an orphan

  ANTONIO, an old man, brother of Leonato

  MARGARET, gentlewoman attendant upon Hero

  URSULA, gentlewoman attendant upon Hero

  FRIAR FRANCIS

  DOGBERRY, Constable in charge of the Watch

  VERGES, Headborough accompanying Dogberry

  A SEXTON

  WATCHMEN

  Attendants and Messengers

  Title NOTHING puns on “noting” (i.e. musical notation/observation) and on “no thing” (i.e. vagina)

  Act 1 Scene 1

  running scene 1

  Location: Messina, city in northeast Sicily

  Enter Leonato Governor of Messina, Innogen his wife, Hero his daughter and Beatrice his niece, with a Messenger

  LEONATO I learn in this letter that Don Peter

  Shows a letter

  of Aragon comes this night to Messina.

  MESSENGER He is very near by this: he was not three leagues off

  when I left him.

  LEONATO How many gentlemen have you lost in this action?

  MESSENGER But few of any sort, and none of name.

  LEONATO A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings

  home full numbers. I find here that Don Peter hath bestowed

  much honour on a young Florentine called Claudio.

  MESSENGER Much deserved on his part and equally remembered

  by Don Pedro. He hath borne himself beyond the

  promise of his age, doing in the figure of a lamb the feats of a

  lion. He hath indeed better bettered expectation than you

  must expect of me to tell you how.

  LEONATO He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very much

  glad of it.

  MESSENGER I have already delivered him letters, and there

  appears much joy in him, even so much that joy could not

  show itself modest enough without a badge of bitterness.

  LEONATO Did he break out into tears?

  MESSENGER In great measure.

  LEONATO A kind overflow of kindness. There are no faces

  truer than those that are so washed. How much better is it to

  weep at joy than to joy at weeping!

  BEATRICE I pray you, is Signior Mountanto returned from the

  wars or no?

  MESSENGER I know none of that name, lady: there was none

  such in the army of any sort.

  LEONATO What is he that you ask for, niece?

  HERO My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua.

  MESSENGER O, he’s returned, and as pleasant as ever he was.

  BEATRICE He set up his bills here in Messina and challenged

  Cupid at the flight: and my uncle’s fool, reading the

  challenge, subscribed for Cupid and challenged him at the

  bird-bolt. I pray you, how many hath he killed and eaten in

  these wars? But how many hath he killed? For indeed I

  promised to eat all of his killing.

  LEONATO Faith, niece, you tax Signior Benedick too much,

  but he’ll be meet with you, I doubt it not.

  MESSENGER He hath done good service, lady, in these wars.

  BEATRICE You had musty victual and he hath holp to eat

  it: he’s a very valiant trencherman, he hath an excellent

  stomach.

  MESSENGER And a good soldier too, lady.

  BEATRICE And a good soldier to a lady. But what is he to a lord?

  MESSENGER A lord to a lord, a man to a man, stuffed with all

  honourable virtues.

  BEATRICE It is so indeed, he is no less than a stuffed man. But

  for the stuffing — well, we are all mortal.

  LEONATO You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a kind

  of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her: they never

  meet but there’s a skirmish of wit between them.

  BEATRICE Alas, he gets nothing by that. In our last conflict

  four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole

  man governed with one: so that if he have wit enough to

  keep himself warm, let him bear it for a
difference between

  himself and his horse, for it is all the wealth that he hath left

  to be known a reasonable creature. Who is his companion

  now? He hath every month a new sworn brother.

  MESSENGER Is’t possible?

  BEATRICE Very easily possible: he wears his faith but as the

  fashion of his hat — it ever changes with the next block.

  MESSENGER I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books.

  BEATRICE No. An he were, I would burn my study. But I pray

  you, who is his companion? Is there no young squarer now

  that will make a voyage with him to the devil?

  MESSENGER He is most in the company of the right noble

  Claudio.

  BEATRICE O lord, he will hang upon him like a disease: he is

  sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs

  presently mad. God help the noble Claudio. If he have caught

  the Benedick, it will cost him a thousand pound ere he be

  cured.

  MESSENGER I will hold friends with you, lady.

  BEATRICE Do, good friend.

  LEONATO You’ll ne’er run mad, niece.

  BEATRICE No, not till a hot January.

  MESSENGER Don Pedro is approached.

  Enter Don Pedro, Claudio, Benedick, Balthasar and John the bastard

  DON PEDRO Good Signior Leonato, are you come to meet your

  trouble? The fashion of the world is to avoid cost, and you

  encounter it.

  LEONATO Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of

  your grace, for trouble being gone, comfort should remain.

  But when you depart from me, sorrow abides and happiness

  takes his leave.

  DON PEDRO You embrace your charge too willingly. I think this

  is your daughter.

  LEONATO Her mother hath many times told me so.

  BENEDICK Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her?

  LEONATO Signior Benedick, no, for then were you a child.

  DON PEDRO You have it full, Benedick. We may guess by this

  what you are, being a man. Truly the lady fathers herself. Be

  happy lady, for you are like an honourable father.

  BENEDICK If Signior Leonato be her father, she would not have

  his head on her shoulders for all Messina, as like him as

  she is.

  Don Pedro and Leonato talk aside

  BEATRICE I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior

  Benedick: nobody marks you.

  BENEDICK What, my dear Lady Disdain! Are you yet living?

  BEATRICE Is it possible disdain should die while she hath such

  meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must

  convert to disdain, if you come in her presence.

  BENEDICK Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I am

  loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I would I could find

  in my heart that I had not a hard heart, for truly I love none.

  BEATRICE A dear happiness to women: they would else have

  been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God and my

  cold blood, I am of your humour for that. I had rather hear

  my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me.

  BENEDICK God keep your ladyship still in that mind, so some

  gentleman or other shall scape a predestinate scratched face.

  BEATRICE Scratching could not make it worse an ’twere such

  a face as yours were.

  BENEDICK Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.

  BEATRICE A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours.

  BENEDICK I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and

  so good a continuer. But keep your way, a God’s name, I have

  done.

  BEATRICE You always end with a jade’s trick. I know you of old.

  DON PEDRO That is the sum of all, Leonato.—

  To the others

  Signior Claudio and Signior Benedick, my dear friend

  Leonato hath invited you all. I tell him we shall stay here at

  the least a month, and he heartily prays some occasion may

  detain us longer. I dare swear he is no hypocrite, but prays

  from his heart.

  LEONATO If you swear, my lord, you shall

  To Don John

  not be forsworn.— Let me bid you welcome, my lord. Being

  reconciled to the prince your brother, I owe you all duty.

  DON JOHN I thank you. I am not of many words, but I thank

  you.

  LEONATO Please it your grace lead on?

  DON PEDRO Your hand, Leonato. We will go together.

  Exeunt all but Benedick and Claudio

  CLAUDIO Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of Signior

  Leonato?

  BENEDICK I noted her not, but I looked on her.

  CLAUDIO Is she not a modest young lady?

  BENEDICK Do you question me as an honest man should do, for

  my simple true judgement? Or would you have me speak

  after my custom, as being a professed tyrant to their sex?

  CLAUDIO No, I pray thee speak in sober judgement.

  BENEDICK Why, i’faith, methinks she’s too low for a high

  praise, too brown for a fair praise, and too little for a great

  praise. Only this commendation I can afford her, that were

  she other than she is, she were unhandsome, and being no

  other but as she is, I do not like her.

  CLAUDIO Thou think’st I am in sport. I pray thee tell me truly

  how thou lik’st her.

  BENEDICK Would you buy her, that you inquire after her?

  CLAUDIO Can the world buy such a jewel?

  BENEDICK Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this

  with a sad brow? Or do you play the flouting jack, to tell us

  Cupid is a good hare-finder and Vulcan a rare carpenter?

  Come, in what key shall a man take you to go in the song?

  CLAUDIO In mine eye, she is the sweetest lady that ever I

  looked on.

  BENEDICK I can see yet without spectacles and I see no such

  matter. There’s her cousin, an she were not possessed with a

  fury, exceeds her as much in beauty as the first of May doth

  the last of December. But I hope you have no intent to turn

  husband, have you?

  CLAUDIO I would scarce trust myself, though I had sworn the

  contrary, if Hero would be my wife.

  BENEDICK Is’t come to this? In faith, hath not the world one

  man but he will wear his cap with suspicion? Shall I never

  see a bachelor of threescore again? Go to, i’faith, an thou

  wilt needs thrust thy neck into a yoke, wear the print of it

  and sigh away Sundays. Look, Don Pedro is returned to seek

  you.

  Enter Don Pedro [and] John the bastard

  DON PEDRO What secret hath held you here, that you followed

  not to Leonato’s?

  BENEDICK I would your grace would constrain me to tell.

  DON PEDRO I charge thee on thy allegiance.

  BENEDICK You hear, Count Claudio. I can be secret as a dumb

  man, I would have you think so. But on my allegiance, mark

  you this, on my allegiance — he is in love. With who? Now

  that is your grace’s part. Mark how short his answer is: with

  Hero, Leonato’s short daughter.

  CLAUDIO If this were so, so were it uttered.

  BENEDICK Like the old tale, my lord: ‘It is not

  so, nor ’twas not so, but indeed, God forbid it should be so!’

  CLAUDIO If my passion change not shortly, God forbid it

  should be otherwise.

  D
ON PEDRO Amen, if you love her, for the lady is very well

  worthy.

  CLAUDIO You speak this to fetch me in, my lord.

  DON PEDRO By my troth, I speak my thought.

  CLAUDIO And in faith, my lord, I spoke mine.

  BENEDICK And by my two faiths and troths, my lord, I spoke

  mine.

  CLAUDIO That I love her, I feel.

  DON PEDRO That she is worthy, I know.

  BENEDICK That I neither feel how she should be loved, nor

  know how she should be worthy, is the opinion that fire

  cannot melt out of me: I will die in it at the stake.

  DON PEDRO Thou wast ever an obstinate heretic in the despite of

  beauty.

  CLAUDIO And never could maintain his part but in the force

  of his will.

  BENEDICK That a woman conceived me, I thank her. That she

  brought me up, I likewise give her most humble thanks. But

  that I will have a recheat winded in my forehead, or hang my

  bugle in an invisible baldrick, all women shall pardon me.

  Because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust any, I will

  do myself the right to trust none. And the fine is — for the

  which I may go the finer — I will live a bachelor.

  DON PEDRO I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love.

  BENEDICK With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord,

  not with love: prove that ever I lose more blood with love

  than I will get again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a

  ballad-maker’s pen, and hang me up at the door of a brothel-house

  for the sign of blind Cupid.

  DON PEDRO Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou wilt

  prove a notable argument.