King John & Henry VIII Read online

  The gentleman is learnèd, and a most rare124 speaker,

  To nature none more bound125: his training such

  That he may furnish and instruct great teachers,

  And never seek for aid out of127 himself: yet see,

  When these so noble benefits shall prove

  Not well disposed129, the mind growing once corrupt,

  They turn to vicious130 forms, ten times more ugly

  Than ever they were fair. This man so complete131,

  Who was enrolled ’mongst wonders — and when we,

  Almost with ravished133 listening, could not find

  His hour of speech a minute — he, my lady,

  Hath into monstrous habits135 put the graces

  That once were his, and is become as black

  As if besmeared in hell. Sit by us: you shall hear —

  This was his gentleman in trust138 — of him

  To Wolsey

  Things to strike honour sad.— Bid him recount

  The fore-recited practices140, whereof

  We cannot feel too little, hear too much141.

  To the Surveyor

  CARDINAL WOLSEY Stand forth, and with bold spirit relate what you

  Most like a careful subject have collected143

  Out of the Duke of Buckingham.

  KING HENRY VIII Speak freely.

  SURVEYOR First, it was usual with him — every day

  It would infect his speech — that if the king

  Should without issue die, he’ll carry148 it so

  To make the sceptre149 his. These very words

  I’ve heard him utter to his son-in-law,

  Lord Aberga’nny, to whom by oath he menaced151

  Revenge upon the cardinal.

  CARDINAL WOLSEY Please your highness note

  His dangerous conception154 in this point,

  Not friended by his wish to your high person155:

  His will is most malignant, and it stretches

  Beyond you to your friends157.

  QUEEN KATHERINE My learnèd lord cardinal,

  Deliver159 all with charity.

  To the Surveyor

  KING HENRY VIII Speak on:

  How grounded he his title to the crown161

  Upon our fail? To this point162 hast thou heard him

  At any time speak aught?

  SURVEYOR He was brought to this

  By a vain prophecy of Nicholas Hopkins.

  KING HENRY VIII What was that Hopkins?

  SURVEYOR Sir, a Chartreux167 friar,

  His confessor, who fed him every minute

  With words of sovereignty.

  KING HENRY VIII How know’st thou this?

  SURVEYOR Not long before your highness sped to France,

  The Duke being at the Rose172, within the parish

  St Lawrence Poultney173, did of me demand

  What was the speech174 among the Londoners

  Concerning the French journey. I replied

  Men feared the French would prove perfidious176

  To the king’s danger: presently177 the duke

  Said ’twas the fear indeed and that he doubted178

  ’Twould prove the verity of certain words

  Spoke by a holy monk that oft, says he,

  ‘Hath sent to me, wishing me to permit

  John de la Car, my chaplain, a choice182 hour

  To hear from him a matter of some moment183:

  Whom after under the confession’s seal

  He solemnly had sworn that what he spoke

  My chaplain to no creature living but

  To me should utter, with demure confidence187

  This pausingly ensued: “Neither the king nor’s heirs,

  Tell you the duke, shall prosper: bid him strive

  To gain the love o’th’commonalty190: the duke

  Shall govern England.” ’

  QUEEN KATHERINE If I know you well,

  You were the duke’s surveyor, and lost your office

  On the complaint o’th’tenants: take good heed

  You charge not in your spleen195 a noble person

  And spoil your nobler196 soul: I say, take heed:

  Yes, heartily beseech you.

  KING HENRY VIII Let him on198:

  To the Surveyor

  Go forward.

  SURVEYOR On my soul, I’ll speak but200 truth.

  I told my lord the duke, by th’devil’s illusions

  The monk might be deceived, and that ’twas dangerous

  For him to ruminate on this so far, until

  It forged204 him some design, which being believed,

  It was much like to do205: he answered, ‘Tush,

  It can do me no damage’, adding further,

  That had the king in his last sickness failed207,

  The cardinal’s and Sir Thomas Lovell’s heads

  Should have gone off.

  KING HENRY VIII Ha? What, so rank210? Ah, ha!

  There’s mischief in this man: canst thou say further?

  SURVEYOR I can, my liege.

  KING HENRY VIII Proceed.

  SURVEYOR Being at Greenwich214,

  After your highness had reproved the duke

  About Sir William Bulmer—

  KING HENRY VIII I remember

  Of such a time: being my sworn servant,

  The duke retained him his219. But on: what hence?

  SURVEYOR ‘If’, quoth he, ‘I for this had been committed220’ —

  As to the Tower, I thought, — ‘I would have played

  The part my father meant to act upon

  Th’usurper Richard, who, being at Salisbury223,

  Made suit224 to come in’s presence: which if granted,

  As he made semblance of his duty225, would

  Have put his knife to him.’

  KING HENRY VIII A giant traitor.

  CARDINAL WOLSEY Now, madam, may his highness live in freedom,

  And this man out of prison?

  QUEEN KATHERINE God mend all230.

  KING HENRY VIII There’s something more would out of thee: what say’st?

  SURVEYOR After ‘the duke his father’, with ‘the knife’,

  He stretched him233, and with one hand on his dagger,

  Another spread on’s breast, mounting234 his eyes,

  He did discharge a horrible oath, whose tenor

  Was, were he evil used, he would outgo236

  His father by as much as a performance

  Does an irresolute238 purpose.

  KING HENRY VIII There’s his period239:

  To sheathe his knife in us: he is attached240:

  Call him to present241 trial: if he may

  Find mercy in the law, ’tis his: if none,

  Let him not seek’t of us: by day and night,

  He’s traitor to th’height244.

  Exeunt

  Act 1 Scene 3

  running scene 2 continues

  Enter [the] Lord Chamberlain and Lord Sands

  CHAMBERLAIN Is’t possible the spells of France should juggle1

  Men into such strange mysteries2?

  SANDS New customs,

  Though they be never so ridiculous,

  Nay, let ’em be5 unmanly, yet are followed.

  CHAMBERLAIN As far as I see, all the good our English

  Have got by the late7 voyage is but merely

  A fit or two o’th’face: but they are shrewd8 ones,

  For when they hold ’em9, you would swear directly

  Their very noses had been counsellors

  To Pepin or Clotharius, they keep state so11.

  SANDS They have all new legs, and lame ones: one would take it12,

  That never see ’em pace before, the spavin13

  Or springhalt14 reigned among ’em.

  CHAMBERLAIN Death15, my lord,

  Their clothes are after such a pagan cut to’t16

  That sure they’ve worn out17 Christendom.

  Enter Sir Thomas Lovell


  How now?

  What news, Sir Thomas Lovell?

  LOVELL Faith, my lord,

  I hear of none, but the new proclamation

  That’s clapped21 upon the court gate.

  CHAMBERLAIN What is’t for?

  LOVELL The reformation of our travelled gallants,

  That fill the court with quarrels, talk and tailors.

  CHAMBERLAIN I’m glad ’tis there: now I would pray our monsieurs

  To think an English courtier may be wise,

  And never see the Louvre27.

  LOVELL They must either,

  For so run the conditions, leave those remnants

  Of fool and feather30 that they got in France,

  With all their honourable points of ignorance31

  Pertaining thereunto — as fights and fireworks32,

  Abusing33 better men than they can be

  Out of a foreign wisdom, renouncing clean34

  The faith they have in tennis and tall stockings35,

  Short blistered breeches, and those types of travel36 —

  And understand again like honest37 men,

  Or pack to their old playfellows38: there, I take it,

  They may cum privilegio ‘oui’39 away

  The lag end of their lewdness40 and be laughed at.

  SANDS ’Tis time to give ’em physic41, their diseases

  Are grown so catching.

  CHAMBERLAIN What a loss our ladies

  Will have of these trim vanities44!

  LOVELL Ay, marry45,

  There will be woe indeed, lords: the sly whoresons46

  Have got a speeding trick to lay down47 ladies:

  A French song and a fiddle has no fellow48.

  SANDS The devil fiddle49 ’em! I am glad they are going,

  For sure there’s no converting of ’em50: now

  An honest country lord, as I am, beaten

  A long time out of play, may bring his plainsong52

  And have an hour of hearing, and, by’r lady53,

  Held current54 music too.

  CHAMBERLAIN Well said, Lord Sands:

  Your colt’s tooth is not cast56 yet?

  SANDS No, my lord,

  Nor shall not, while I have a stump58.

  To Lovell

  CHAMBERLAIN Sir Thomas,

  Whither were you a-going?

  LOVELL To the cardinal’s:

  Your lordship is a guest too.

  CHAMBERLAIN O, ’tis true:

  This night he makes64 a supper, and a great one,

  To many lords and ladies: there will be

  The beauty of this kingdom, I’ll assure you.

  LOVELL That churchman bears a bounteous mind indeed,

  A hand as fruitful68 as the land that feeds us:

  His dews69 fall everywhere.

  CHAMBERLAIN No doubt he’s noble:

  He had a black mouth that said other71 of him.

  SANDS He may, my lord, he’s wherewithal72 in him:

  Sparing73 would show a worse sin than ill doctrine:

  Men of his way74 should be most liberal:

  They are set here for examples.

  CHAMBERLAIN True, they are so:

  But few now give so great ones. My barge stays77:

  To Lovell

  Your lordship shall along78. Come, good Sir Thomas,

  We shall be late else, which I would not be,

  For I was spoke to80, with Sir Henry Guildford,

  This night to be comptrollers81.

  SANDS I am your lordship’s82.

  Exeunt

  Act 1 Scene 4

  running scene 3

  Hautboys. A small table under a state for the Cardinal, a longer table for the guests. Then enter Anne Bullen, and divers other Ladies and Gentlemen, as guests at one door; at another door enter Sir Henry Guildford

  GUILDFORD Ladies, a general welcome from his grace

  Salutes ye all: this night he dedicates

  To fair content and you: none here, he hopes,

  In all this noble bevy4, has brought with her

  One care abroad5: he would have all as merry

  As, first, good company, good wine, good welcome,

  Can make good people.

  Enter Lord Chamberlain, Lords Sands and Lovell

  To Chamberlain

  O, my lord, you’re tardy:

  The very thought of this fair company

  Clapped9 wings to me.

  CHAMBERLAIN You are young, Sir Harry Guildford.

  SANDS Sir Thomas Lovell, had the cardinal

  But half my lay12 thoughts in him, some of these

  Should find a running banquet13 ere they rested

  I think would better please ’em: by my life,

  They are a sweet society15 of fair ones.

  LOVELL O, that your lordship were but now confessor16

  To one or two of these.

  SANDS I would I were:

  They should find easy penance19.

  LOVELL Faith, how easy?

  SANDS As easy as a down21 bed would afford it.

  To Guildford

  CHAMBERLAIN Sweet ladies, will it please you sit?— Sir Harry,

  Place you23 that side, I’ll take the charge of this:

  His grace is ent’ring. Nay, you must not freeze:

  Two women placed together makes cold25 weather:

  My lord Sands, you are one will keep ’em waking26:

  Pray sit between these ladies.

  SANDS By my faith,

  He sits between Anne and another lady

  And thank29 your lordship.—

  By your leave, sweet ladies,

  If I chance to talk a little wild30, forgive me:

  I had it from my father.

  ANNE Was he mad32, sir?

  SANDS O, very mad, exceeding mad, in love too:

  But he would bite34 none: just as I do now,

  He kisses her

  He would kiss you twenty with a breath35.

  CHAMBERLAIN Well said36, my lord.

  So now you’re fairly37 seated: gentlemen,

  The penance lies on you, if these fair ladies

  Pass away39 frowning.

  SANDS For my little cure40,

  Let me alone41.

  Hautboys. Enter Cardinal Wolsey, and takes his state

  CARDINAL WOLSEY You’re welcome, my fair guests: that noble lady

  Or gentleman that is not freely merry,

  Is not my friend. This, to confirm my welcome,

  He drinks

  And to you all, good health.

  SANDS Your grace is noble:

  Let me have such a bowl may47 hold my thanks,

  And save me so much talking.

  CARDINAL WOLSEY My lord Sands,

  I am beholding to you: cheer50 your neighbours:

  Ladies, you are not merry: gentlemen,

  Whose fault is this?

  SANDS The red wine first must rise

  In their fair cheeks, my lord, then we shall have ’em

  Talk us to silence.

  ANNE You are a merry gamester56,

  My lord Sands.

  SANDS Yes, if I make my play58:

  Here’s to your ladyship: and pledge it59, madam,

  For ’tis to such a thing60—

  ANNE You cannot show me.

  SANDS I told your grace they would talk anon62.

  Drum and Trumpet: chambers discharged

  CARDINAL WOLSEY What’s that?

  To Servants

  CHAMBERLAIN Look out there, some of ye.

  CARDINAL WOLSEY What warlike voice65,

  Exit Servants

  And to what end is this? Nay, ladies, fear not:

  By all the laws of war you’re privileged67.

  Enter a Servant

  CHAMBERLAIN How now, what is’t?

  SERVANT A noble troop of strangers69,

  For so they seem: they’ve left their barge and landed,

  And hither make71, as great ambassadors />
  From foreign princes.

  CARDINAL WOLSEY Good Lord Chamberlain,

  Go, give ’em welcome: you can speak the French tongue:

  And pray receive ’em nobly, and conduct ’em

  Into our presence, where this heaven of beauty76

  Shall shine at full upon them. Some attend him.

  [Exit Chamberlain, attended]

  All rise, and tables removed

  You have now a broken78 banquet, but we’ll mend it.

  A good digestion to you all: and once more

  I shower a welcome on ye: welcome all.

  Hautboys. Enter King [Henry] and others as Masquers, habited like shepherds, ushered by the Lord Chamberlain. They pass directly before the Cardinal, and gracefully salute him

  A noble company: what are their pleasures81?

  CHAMBERLAIN Because they speak no English, thus they prayed

  To tell your grace: that having heard by fame83

  Of this so noble and so fair assembly