Much Ado About Nothing (Arden Shakespeare: Third Series) Read online

  Claudio. That.

  Leonato. O, she tore the letter into a thousand halfpence, deg railed at herself that she should be so im-modest to write to one that she knew would flout her. "I measure him," says she, "by my own spirit; for I should flout him if he writ to me. Yea, though I love him, I should."

  Claudio. Then down upon her knees she falls, weeps, sobs, beats her heart, tears her hair, prays, curses--"O sweet Benedick! God give me patience!"

  Leonato. She doth indeed; my daughter says so; and the ecstasydeg hath so much overborne her that my daughter is sometime afeard she will do a des-perate outrage to herself. It is very true.

  Don Pedro. It were good that Benedick knew of it by some other, if she will not discover it.

  143--44 halfpence i.e., small pieces

  153 ecstasy madness

  Claudio. To what end? He would make but a sport of it and torment the poor lady worse.

  Don Pedro. And he should, it were an almsdeg to hang him! She's an excellent sweet lady, and, out of all suspicion, she is virtuous.

  Claudio. And she is exceeding wise.

  Don Pedro. In everything but in loving Benedick.

  Leonato. O, my lord, wisdom and blooddeg combating in so tender a body, we have ten proofs to one that blood hath the victory. I am sorry for her, as I have just cause, being her uncle and her guardian.

  Don Pedro. I would she had bestowed this dotage on me; I would have daffed all other respectsdeg and made her half myself. I pray you tell Benedick of it and hear what'a will say.

  Leonato. Were it good, think you?

  Claudio. Hero thinks surely she will die; for she says she will die if he love her not, and she will die ere she make her love known, and she will die, if he woo her, rather than she will batedeg one breath of her accustomed crossness.

  Don Pedro. She doth well. If she should make tenderdeg of her love, 'tis very possible he'll scorn it; for the man, as you know all, hath a contemptibledeg spirit.

  Claudio. He is a very properdeg man.

  Don Pedro. He hath indeed a good outward happiness.

  Claudio. Before God, and in my mind, very wise.

  Don Pedro. He doth indeed show some sparks that are like wit.deg

  Claudio. And I take him to be valiant.

  160 an alms a charity

  165 blood passion

  170 daffed all other respects put aside all other considerations (i.e., of disparity in rank)

  177 bate abate, give up

  179 tender offer

  181 contemptible disdainful

  182 proper handsome

  186 wit intelligence

  Don Pedro. As Hector, I assure you. And in the managing of quarrels you may say he is wise, for either he avoids them with great discretion, or undertakes them with a most Christianlike fear.

  Leonato. If he do fear God, 'a must necessarily keep peace. If he break the peace, he ought to enter into a quarrel with fear and trembling.

  Don Pedro. And so will he do; for the man doth fear God, howsoever it seems not in him by some large jestsdeg he will make. Well, I am sorry for your niece. Shall we go seek Benedick and tell him of her love?

  Claudio. Never tell him, my lord; let her wear it out with good counsel.

  Leonato. Nay, that's impossible; she may wear her heart out first.

  Don Pedro. Well, we will hear further of it by your daughter. Let it cool the while. I love Benedick well, and I could wish he would modestly examine himself to see how much he is unworthy so good a lady.

  Leonato. My lord, will you walk? Dinner is ready.

  [They walk away.]

  Claudio. If he do not dote on her upon this, I will never trust my expectation.

  Don Pedro. Let there be the same net spread for her, and that must your daughter and her gentlewomen carry.deg The sport will be, when they hold one an opinion of another's dotage, and no such matter. That's the scene that I would see, which will be merely a dumb show.deg Let us send her to call him in to dinner.

  [Exeunt Don Pedro, Claudio, and Leonato.]

  Benedick. [Advancing] This can be no trick; the conference was sadlydeg borne. They have the truth of this from Hero. They seem to pity the lady; it seems her affections have their full bent.deg Love me? Why, it must be requited. I hear how I am censured. They say I will bear myself proudly if I perceive the love come from her. They say too that she will rather die than give any sign of affection. I did never think to marry; I must not seem proud. Happy are they that hear their detractions and can put them to mending. They say the lady is fair--'tis a truth, I can bear them witness; and virtuous--'tis so, I cannot reprove it; and wise, but for loving me; by my troth, it is no addition to her wit, nor no great argument of her folly; for I will be horribly in love with her. I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants of wit broken on me because I have railed so long against marriage; but doth not the appetite alter? A man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age. Shall quips and sentencesdeg and these paper bullets of 'the brain awe a man from the careerdeg of his humor? No, the world must be peopled. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married. Here comes Beatrice. By this day, she's a fair lady. I do spy some marks of love in her.

  196--97 large jests broad jokes

  212 carry manage

  215 dumb show pantomime (because of embarrassment)

  218 sadly seriously

  Enter Beatrice.

  Beatrice. Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner.

  Benedick. Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains.

  Beatrice. I took no more pains for those thanks than you take pains to thank me. If it had been painful, I would not have come.

  Benedick. You take pleasure then in the message?

  Beatrice. Yea, just so much as you may take upon a knife's point, and choke a daw withal.deg You have no stomach,deg signior? Fare you well. Exit.

  220 affections have their full bent emotions are tightly stretched (like a bent bow)

  236 sentences maxims

  238 career course

  Benedick. Ha! "Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner." There's a double meaning in that. "I took no more pains for those thanks than you took pains to thank me." That's as much as to say, "Any pains that I take for you is as easy as thanks." If I do not take pity of her, I am a villain; if I do not love her, I am a Jew. I will go get her picture. Exit:

  251 withal with

  252 no stomach no wish to argue (as well as "no appetite")

  [ACT 3

  Scene 1. Leonato's garden.]

  Enter Hero and two Gentlewomen, Margaret

  and Ursula.

  Hero. Good Margaret, run thee to the parlor. There shalt thou find my cousin Beatrice Proposing withdeg the Prince and Claudio. Whisper her ear and tell her, I and Ursley Walk in the orchard, and our whole discourse Is all of her. Say that thou overheard'st us; And bid her steal into the pleached bower, Where honeysuckles, ripened by the sun, Forbid the sun to enter--like favorites, Made proud by princes, that advance their pride Against that power that bred it.deg There will she hide her To listen our propose. This is thy office;deg Bear thee well in it and leave us alone.

  Margaret. I'll make her come, I warrant you, presently. [Exit. ]

  Hero. Now, Ursula, when Beatrice doth come, As we do tracedeg this alley up and down, Our talk must only be of Benedick. When I do name him, let it be thy part To praise him more than ever man did merit. My talk to thee must be how Benedick Is sick in love with Beatrice. Of this matter Is little Cupid's craftydeg arrow made, That onlydeg wounds by hearsay.

  3.1.3 Proposing with talking to

  10-11 Made proud... bred it (an Elizabethan audience of c.1600 would be reminded of the Earl of Essex)

  12 office duty

  16 trace walk

  Enter Beatrice.

  Now begin;

  For look where Beatrice like a lapwing runs Close by the ground, to hear our conference.

  Ursula.
The pleasant'st angling is to see the fish Cut with her golden oars the silver stream And greedily devour the treacherous bait; So angle we for Beatrice, who even now Is couched in the woodbine coverture.deg Fear you not my part of the dialogue.

  Hero. Then go we near her, that her ear lose nothing Of the false sweet bait that we lay for it.

  [They approach the bower.]

  No, truly, Ursula, she is too disdainful. I know her spirits are as coydeg and wild As haggards' of the rock.

  Ursula. But are you sure That Benedick loves Beatrice so entirely?

  Hero. So says the Prince, and my new-trothed lord.

  Ursula. And did they bid you tell her of it, madam?

  Hero. They did entreat me to acquaint her of it; But I persuaded them, if they loved Benedick, To wish him wrestle with affection And never to let Beatrice know of it.

  Ursula. Why did you so? Doth not the gentleman

  22 crafty skillfully wrought

  23 only solely

  30 woodbine coverture honeysuckle thicket

  35 coy disdainful

  36 haggards wild and intractable hawks

  Deserve as full as fortunate a bed As ever Beatrice shall couch upon?

  Hero. O god of love! I know he doth deserve As much as may be yielded to a man; But Nature never framed a woman's heart Of prouder stuff than that of Beatrice. Disdain and Scorn ride sparkling in her eyes, Misprizingdeg what they look on; and her wit Values itself so highly that to her All matter else seems weak. She cannot love, Nor take no shape nor projectdeg of affection, She is so self-endeared.

  Ursula. Sure I think so; And therefore certainly it were not good She knew his love, lest she'll make sport at it.

  Hero. Why, you speak truth. I never yet saw man, How wise, how noble, young, how rarely featured, But she would spell him backward. If fair-faced, She would swear the gentleman should be her sister; ' If black,deg why, Nature, drawing of an antic,deg Made a foul blot; if tall, a lance ill-headed; If low, an agate very vilely cut;deg If speaking, why, a vane blown with all winds; If silent, why, a block moved with none. So turns she every man the wrong side out And never gives to truth and virtue that Which simpleness and merit purchaseth.

  Ursula. Sure, sure, such carping is not commendable.

  Hero. No, not to be so odd, and from all fashions,deg As Beatrice is, cannot be commendable. But who dare tell her so? If I should speak, She would mock me into air; O, she would laugh me Out of myself, press me to death with wit! Therefore let Benedick, like covered fire, Consume away in sighs, waste inwardly. It were a better death than die with mocks, Which is as bad as die with tickling.

  52 Misprizing despising

  55 project notion

  63 black dark-complex-ioned

  63 antic grotesque figure

  65 agate very vilely cut poorly done miniature

  72 from all fashions contrary

  Ursula.Yet tell her of it. Hear what she will say. Hero. No; rather I will go to Benedick

  And counsel him to fight against his passion. And truly, I'll devise some honestdeg slanders To stain my cousin with. One doth not know How much an ill word may empoison liking.

  Ursula. O, do not do your cousin such a wrong! She cannot be so much without true judgment (Having so swift and excellent a wit As she is prized to have) as to refuse So rare a gentleman as Signior Benedick.

  Hero. He is the only man of Italy, Always excepted my dear Claudio.

  Ursula. I pray you be not angry with me, madam, Speaking my fancy. Signior Benedick, For shape, for bearing, argument, and valor, Goes foremost in report through Italy.

  Hero. Indeed he hath an excellent good name.

  Ursula. His excellence did earn it ere he had it. When are you married, madam?

  Hero. Why, everyday tomorrow !deg Come, go in. I'll show thee some attires, and have thy counsel Which is the best to furnishdeg me tomorrow.

  [They walk away.]

  Ursula. She's limed,deg I warrant you! We have caught her, madam.

  Hero. If it prove so, then loving goes by haps ;deg Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps.

  [Exeunt Hero and Ursula.]

  84 honest appropriate

  101 everyday tomorrow i.e., tomorrow I shall be married forever

  103 furnish dress

  104 limed caught (as a bird is caught in birdlime, a sticky substance smeared on branches) 105 haps chance

  Beatrice. [Coming forward] What fire is in mine ears? Can this be true?

  Stand I condemned for pride and scorn so much?

  Contempt, farewell! And maiden pride, adieu! No glory lives behind the back of such.

  And, Benedick, love on; I will requite thee, Taming my wild heart to thy loving hand.

  If thou dost love, my kindness shall incite thee To bind our loves up in a holy band;

  For others say thou dost deserve, and I Believe it better than reportingly.deg Exit.

  [Scene 2. Leonato's house.]

  Enter Prince [Don Pedro], Claudio, Benedick,

  and Leonato.

  Don Pedro. I do but stay till your marriage be consummate, and then go I toward Aragon.

  Claudio. I'll bring you thither, my lord, if you'll vouchsafedeg me.

  Don Pedro. Nay, that would be as great a soil in the new gloss of your marriage as to show a child his new coat and forbid him to wear it. I will only be bold with Benedick for his company; for, from the crown of his head to the sole of his foot, he is all mirth. He hath twice or thrice cut Cupid's bowstring,deg and the little hangman dare not shoot at him. He hath a heart as sound as a bell; and his tongue is the clapper, for what his heart thinks, his tongue speaks.

  Benedick. Gallants, I am not as I have been.

  116 reportingly i.e., mere hearsay

  3.2.3-4 vouchsafe permit

  10-1 ] cut Cupid s bowstring i.e., avoided falling in love

  Leonato. So say I. Methinks you are sadder.deg

  Claudio. I hope he be in love.

  Don Pedro. Hang him truant?deg There's no true drop of blood in him to be truly touched with love. If he be sad, he wants money.

  Benedick. I have the toothache.

  Don Pedro. Draw it.deg

  Benedick. Hang it!

  Claudio. You must hang it first and draw it afterwards.

  Don Pedro. What? Sigh for the toothache?

  Leonato. Where is but a humor or a worm.deg

  Benedick. Well, everyone cannot master a grief but he that has it.deg

  Claudio. Yet say I he is in love.

  Don Pedro. There is no appearance of fancydeg in him, unless it be a fancy that he hath to strange disguises; as to be a Dutchman today, a Frenchman tomorrow ; or in the shape of two countries at once, as a German from the waist downward, all slops,deg and a Spaniard from the hip upward, no doublet. Unless he have a fancy to this foolery, as it appears he hath, he is no fool for fancy, as you would have it appear he is.

  Claudio. If he be not in love with some woman, there is no believing old signs; 'a brushes his hat o' mornings. What should that bode?

  16 sadder graver

  18 truant i.e., as unfaithful to his antiromantic stance

  22 Draw it extract it (but draw also means eviscerate; traitors were hanged, drawn, and quartered. Draw it thus leads to the exclamation Hang it)

  26 a humor or a worm (supposed causes of tooth decay, humor = secretion)

  27-28 Well ... has it i.e., a man has to have a grief first before he can master it (Benedick does not admit that he has a grief; but some editors emend cannot to "can")

  30 fancy love

  34 slops loose breeches

  35 doublet close-fitting jacket

  Don Pedro. Hath any man seen him at the barber's?

  Claudio. No, but the barber's man hath been seen with him, and the old ornament of his cheek hath already stuffed tennis balls.deg

  Leonato. Indeed he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard.

  Don Pedro. Nay, 'a rubs himself with civet.deg Can you smell him out
by that?

  Claudio. That's as much as to say, the sweet youth's in love.

  Don Pedro. The greatest note of it is his melancholy.

  Claudio. And when was he wont to wash his face?

  Don Pedro. Yea, or to paint himself?degFor the which I hear what they say of him.

  Claudio. Nay, but his jesting spirit, which is now crept into a lutestring, and now governed by stops.deg

  Don Pedro. Indeed that tells a heavy tale for him. Conclude, conclude, he is in love.

  Claudio. Nay, but I know who loves him.

  Don Pedro. That would I know too. I warrant, one that knows him not.

  Claudio. Yes, and his ill conditions;deg and in despite of all, diesdeg for him.

  Don Pedro. She shall be buried with her face upwards.deg

  Benedick. Yet is this no charm for the toothache. Old signior, walk aside with me; I have studied eight or nine wise words to speak to you, which these hobby horsesdeg must not hear.

  44--the old ornament... tennis balls (cf. Beatrice's remark,

  2.1.29--30 "I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face")

  48 civet perfume

  54 to paint himself to use cosmetics

  57 stops frets (on the lute)

  63 conditions qualities

  63--64 in despite of all notwithstanding

  64 dies (1) pines away (2) is willing to "die" in the act of sex

  65--66 She shall... upwards (continues sexual innuendo)

  [Exeunt Benedick and Leonato.]

  Don Pedro. For my life, to break with him about Beatrice !

  Claudio. 'Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by this played their parts with Beatrice, and then the two bears will not bite one another when they meet.

  Enter John the Bastard.

  Don John. My lord and brother, God save you.

  Don Pedro. Good den,deg brother.

  Don John. If your leisure served, I would speak with you.

  Don Pedro. In private?

  Don John. If it please you. Yet Count Claudio may hear, for what I would speak of concerns him.

  Don Pedro. What's the matter?

  Don John. [To Claudio] Means your lordship to be married tomorrow?

  Don Pedro. You know he does.

  Don John. I know not that, when he knows what I know.

  Claudio. If there be any impediment, I pray you discover it.

  Don John. You may think I love you not; let that appear hereafter, and aim better at medeg by thatdeg I now will manifest. For my brother (I think he holds you well, and in dearness of heart) hath holp to effect your ensuing marriage--surely suit ill spent and labor ill bestowed!