Hamlet Page 9

  not escape calumny142. Get thee to a nunnery: go, farewell. Or,

  if thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool, for wise men know

  well enough what monsters144 you make of them. To a

  nunnery, go, and quickly too. Farewell.

  OPHELIA O heavenly powers, restore him!

  HAMLET I have heard of your paintings147 too, well enough.

  God has given you one face and you make yourself another:

  you jig, you amble and you lisp149, and nickname God's

  creatures, and make your wantonness your ignorance150. Go

  to, I'll no more on't151: it hath made me mad. I say we will have

  no more marriages: those that are married already, all but

  one shall live: the rest shall keep as they are. To a nunnery,

  go.

  Exit Hamlet

  OPHELIA O, what a noble mind is here o'erthrown!

  The courtier's, soldier's, scholar's, eye, tongue, sword,

  Th'expectancy157 and rose of the fair state,

  The glass of fashion and the mould of form158,

  Th'observed of all observers, quite, quite down!

  And I, of ladies most deject and wretched,

  That sucked the honey of his music vows,

  Now see that noble and most sovereign reason

  Like sweet bells jangled out of tune and harsh,

  That unmatched form and feature of blown164 youth

  Blasted with ecstasy165. O, woe is me,

  T'have seen what I have seen, see what I see!

  From their hiding place

  Enter King and Polonius

  KING Love? His affections167 do not that way tend,

  Nor what he spake, though it lacked form a little,

  Was not like madness. There's something in his soul

  O'er which his melancholy sits on brood170,

  And I do doubt the hatch and the disclose171

  Will be some danger, which to prevent,

  I have in quick determination

  Thus set it down174: he shall with speed to England

  For the demand of our neglected tribute175.

  Haply176 the seas and countries different

  With variable objects177 shall expel

  This something-settled matter178 in his heart,

  Whereon his brains still beating puts him thus

  From fashion of himself180. What think you on't?

  POLONIUS It shall do well. But yet do I believe

  The origin and commencement of this grief

  Sprung from neglected love.-- How now, Ophelia?

  You need not tell us what Lord Hamlet said:

  We heard it all. My lord, do as you please,

  But, if you hold it fit, after the play

  Let his queen mother all alone entreat him

  To show his griefs: let her be round188 with him,

  And I'll be placed, so please you, in the ear

  Of all their conference. If she find him not190,

  To England send him, or confine him where

  Your wisdom best shall think.

  KING It shall be so:

  Madness in great ones must not unwatched go.

  Exeunt

  [Act 3 Scene 2]

  running scene 8

  Enter Hamlet and two or three of the Players

  HAMLET Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced it to

  you, trippingly on the tongue: but if you mouth2 it, as many

  of your players do, I had as lief3 the town-crier had spoke my

  lines. Nor do not saw the air too much with your hand, thus,

  but use all gently; for in the very torrent, tempest, and, as I

  may say, the whirlwind of passion, you must acquire and

  beget a temperance that may give it smoothness. O, it offends

  me to the soul to see a robustious periwig-pated8 fellow tear a

  passion to tatters, to very rags, to split the ears of the

  groundlings, who for the most part are capable of10 nothing

  but inexplicable dumb shows11 and noise: I could have such a

  fellow whipped for o'erdoing Termagant12: it out-Herods

  Herod13. Pray you avoid it.

  A PLAYER I warrant14 your honour.

  HAMLET Be not too tame neither, but let your own discretion15

  be your tutor: suit the action to the word, the word to the

  action, with this special observance: that you o'erstep not

  the modesty of nature; for anything so overdone is from18 the

  purpose of playing, whose end, both at the first and now,

  was and is to hold as 'twere the mirror up to nature, to show

  virtue her own feature, scorn her own image, and the very

  age and body of the time his form and pressure22. Now this

  overdone or come tardy off, though it make the unskilful23

  laugh, cannot but make the judicious grieve; the censure24 of

  the which one must in your allowance25 o'erweigh a whole

  theatre of others. O, there be players that I have seen play,

  and heard others praise, and that highly -- not to speak it

  profanely -- that, neither having the accent of Christians

  nor the gait of Christian, pagan, nor no man, have so

  strutted and bellowed that I have thought some of nature's

  journeymen31 had made men and not made them well, they

  imitated humanity so abominably32.

  A PLAYER I hope we have reformed that indifferently33 with us,

  sir.

  HAMLET O, reform it altogether. And let those that play your

  clowns speak no more than is set down for them, for there be

  of37 them that will themselves laugh, to set on some quantity

  of barren38 spectators to laugh too, though in the meantime

  some necessary question39 of the play be then to be

  considered: that's villainous, and shows a most pitiful

  ambition in the fool that uses41 it. Go, make you ready.--

  Exeunt Players

  Enter Polonius, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern

  How now, my lord, will the king hear this piece of work?

  POLONIUS And the queen too, and that presently43.

  HAMLET Bid the players make haste.--

  Exit Polonius

  Will you two help to hasten them?

  BOTH We will, my lord.

  Exeunt [Rosencrantz and Guildenstern]

  Enter Horatio

  HAMLET What ho, Horatio!

  HORATIO Here, sweet lord, at your service.

  HAMLET Horatio, thou art e'en as just a man

  As e'er my conversation coped withal50.

  HORATIO O, my dear lord--

  HAMLET Nay, do not think I flatter,

  For what advancement may I hope from thee

  That no revenue hast but thy good spirits

  To feed and clothe thee? Why should the poor be flattered?

  No, let the candied56 tongue lick absurd pomp,

  And crook the pregnant57 hinges of the knee

  Where thrift58 may follow fawning. Dost thou hear?

  Since my dear soul was mistress of her choice

  And could of men distinguish, her election60

  Hath sealed61 thee for herself, for thou hast been

  As one, in suffering62 all, that suffers nothing,

  A man that fortune's buffets63 and rewards

  Hath ta'en with equal thanks: and blest are those

  Whose blood65 and judgement are so well commingled

  That they are not a pipe for fortune's finger

  To sound what stop67 she please. Give me that man

  That is not passion's slave, and I will wear him

  In my heart's core69, ay, in my heart of heart,

  As I do thee. Something too much of this.

  There is a play tonight before the king:

  One scene of it comes near the circumstance />
  Which I have told thee of my father's death:

  I prithee, when thou see'st that act afoot,

  Even with the very comment of thy soul75

  Observe mine uncle: if his occulted76 guilt

  Do not itself unkennel77 in one speech,

  It is a damned78 ghost that we have seen,

  And my imaginations are as foul79

  As Vulcan's stithy. Give him heedful note80,

  For I mine eyes will rivet to his face,

  And after we will both our judgements join

  In censure of his seeming83.

  HORATIO Well, my lord.

  If he steal aught85 the whilst this play is playing

  And scape detecting, I will pay the theft.

  Enter King, Queen, Polonius, Ophelia, Rosencrantz, Guildenstern and other Lords Attendant with his Guard carrying torches. Danish march. Sound a flourish

  HAMLET They are coming to the play: I must be idle87.

  Get you a place.

  KING How fares89 our cousin Hamlet?

  HAMLET Excellent, i'faith, of the chameleon's dish90: I eat the

  air, promise-crammed: you cannot feed capons91 so.

  KING I have nothing with92 this answer, Hamlet: these

  words are not mine93.

  To Polonius

  HAMLET No, nor mine now.-- My lord, you

  played once i'th'university, you say?

  POLONIUS That I did, my lord, and was accounted a good actor.

  HAMLET And what did you enact?

  POLONIUS I did enact Julius Caesar: I was killed i'th'Capitol98:

  Brutus killed me.

  HAMLET It was a brute part of him to kill so capital a calf100

  there.-- Be the players ready?

  ROSENCRANTZ Ay, my lord: they stay upon your patience102.

  GERTRUDE Come hither, my good Hamlet, sit by me.

  HAMLET No, good mother, here's metal more attractive104.

  To King

  POLONIUS O, ho! Do you mark that?

  HAMLET Lady, shall I lie in your lap106?

  OPHELIA No, my lord.

  HAMLET I mean, my head upon your lap?

  OPHELIA Ay, my lord.

  HAMLET Do you think I meant country matters110?

  OPHELIA I think nothing, my lord.

  HAMLET That's a fair thought to lie between maids' legs.

  OPHELIA What is, my lord?

  HAMLET Nothing114.

  OPHELIA You are merry, my lord.

  HAMLET Who, I?

  OPHELIA Ay, my lord.

  HAMLET O, God, your only jig-maker118. What should a man do

  but be merry? For look you how cheerfully my mother looks,

  and my father died within's two hours.

  OPHELIA Nay, 'tis twice two months, my lord.

  HAMLET So long? Nay then, let the devil wear black, for I'll

  have a suit of sables123. O heavens! Die two months ago, and not

  forgotten yet? Then there's hope a great man's memory may

  outlive his life half a year: but, by'r lady, he must build

  churches, then, or else shall he suffer not thinking on126, with

  the hobby-horse127, whose epitaph is 'For, O, for, O, the hobby-horse is forgot.'

  Hautboys play. The dumb show enters

  Enter a King and Queen very lovingly, the Queen embracing him. She kneels, and makes show of protestation unto him. He takes her up, and declines his head upon her neck: lays him down upon a bank of flowers: she, seeing him asleep, leaves him. Anon comes in a fellow, takes off his crown, kisses it, and pours poison in the King's ears, and exits. The Queen returns, finds the King dead, and makes passionate action. The Poisoner, with some two or three Mutes, comes in again, seeming to lament with her. The dead body is carried away. The Poisoner woos the Queen with gifts: she seems loath and unwilling awhile, but in the end accepts his love.

  Exeunt

  OPHELIA What means this, my lord?

  HAMLET Marry, this is miching malicho130: that means mischief.

  OPHELIA Belike this show imports the argument131 of the play.

  HAMLET We shall know by these fellows: the players cannot

  keep counsel133, they'll tell all.

  OPHELIA Will they tell us what this show meant?

  HAMLET Ay, or any show that you'll show him: be not you135

  ashamed to show, he'll not shame to tell you what it means.

  OPHELIA You are naught137, you are naught: I'll mark the play.

  Enter Prologue

  PROLOGUE For us, and for our tragedy,

  Here stooping to your clemency,

  We beg your hearing patiently.

  [Exit]

  HAMLET Is this a prologue, or the posy of a ring141?

  OPHELIA 'Tis brief, my lord.

  HAMLET As woman's love.

  Enter [two Players as] King and his Queen [Baptista]

  PLAYER KING Full thirty times hath Phoebus' cart144 gone round

  Neptune's salt wash and Tellus' orbed ground145,

  And thirty dozen moons with borrowed sheen146

  About the world have times twelve thirties been,

  Since love our hearts and Hymen148 did our hands

  Unite commutual in most sacred bands149.

  BAPTISTA So many journeys may the sun and moon

  Make us again count o'er ere love be done!

  But, woe is me, you are so sick of late,

  So far from cheer and from your former state,

  That I distrust154 you: yet, though I distrust,

  Discomfort155 you, my lord, it nothing must,

  For women's fear and love holds quantity156,

  In neither aught, or in extremity157.

  Now, what my love is, proof158 hath made you know,

  And as my love is sized, my fear is so159.

  PLAYER KING Faith, I must leave thee, love, and shortly too:

  My operant powers my functions leave to do161.

  And thou shalt live in this fair world behind,

  Honoured, beloved: and haply one as kind

  For husband shalt thou--

  BAPTISTA O, confound165 the rest!

  Such love must needs be treason in my breast:

  In second husband let me be accurst!

  None168 wed the second but who killed the first.

  HAMLET Wormwood169, wormwood.

  Aside?

  BAPTISTA The instances that second marriage move170

  Are base respects of thrift171, but none of love:

  A second time I kill my husband dead,

  When second husband kisses me in bed.

  PLAYER KING I do believe you think what now you speak,

  But what we do determine oft we break.

  Purpose is but the slave to memory176,

  Of violent birth, but poor validity,

  Which178 now, like fruit unripe, sticks on the tree,

  But fall unshaken when they mellow be.

  Most necessary 'tis that we forget180

  To pay ourselves what to ourselves is debt:

  What to ourselves in passion we propose,

  The passion ending, doth the purpose lose.

  The violence of either grief or joy

  Their own enactures185 with themselves destroy:

  Where joy most revels, grief doth most lament;

  Grief joys, joy grieves, on slender accident187.

  This world is not for aye188, nor 'tis not strange

  That even our loves should with our fortunes change,

  For 'tis a question left us yet to prove,

  Whether love lead fortune, or else fortune love.

  The great man down192, you mark his favourites flies:

  The poor advanced193 makes friends of enemies.

  And hitherto doth love on fortune tend194,

  For who not needs195 shall never lack a friend,

  And who in want a hollow friend doth try196,

  Directly seasons him197 his enemy.

  But, orderly
to end where I begun,

  Our wills and fates do so contrary run

  That our devices still200 are overthrown:

  Our thoughts are ours, their ends201 none of our own.

  So think thou wilt no second husband wed,

  But die thy thoughts when thy first lord is dead.

  BAPTISTA Nor204 earth to me give food, nor heaven light,

  Sport and repose lock from me day and night205,

  Each opposite that blanks206 the face of joy

  Meet what I would have well and it destroy207!

  Both here and hence208 pursue me lasting strife,

  If, once a widow, ever I be wife!

  HAMLET If she should break it now!

  PLAYER KING 'Tis deeply sworn. Sweet, leave me here awhile:

  My spirits grow dull, and fain I would beguile212

  The tedious day with sleep.

  BAPTISTA Sleep rock thy brain,

  [He] sleeps

  And never come mischance between us twain.

  Exit

  HAMLET Madam, how like you this play?

  GERTRUDE The lady protests217 too much, methinks.

  HAMLET O, but she'll keep her word.

  KING Have you heard the argument? Is there no offence219

  in't?

  HAMLET No, no, they do but jest221, poison in jest: no offence

  i'th'world.

  KING What do you call the play?

  HAMLET The Mousetrap. Marry, how? Tropically224. This play is

  the image of a murder done in Vienna: Gonzago is the duke's225

  name, his wife, Baptista. You shall see anon: 'tis a knavish

  piece of work, but what o'that? Your majesty and we that

  have free souls, it touches us not: let the galled jade wince228,

  our withers are unwrung229.

  Enter Lucianus

  This is one Lucianus, nephew to the king.

  OPHELIA You are a good chorus231, my lord.

  HAMLET I could interpret232 between you and your love, if I

  could see the puppets dallying233.

  OPHELIA You are keen234, my lord, you are keen.

  HAMLET It would cost you a groaning to take off my edge235.

  OPHELIA Still better, and worse236.

  HAMLET So you mis-take your husbands237.-- Begin,

  murderer: pox238, leave thy damnable faces, and begin.

  Come, the croaking raven239 doth bellow for revenge.

  LUCIANUS Thoughts black, hands apt, drugs fit and time

  agreeing,

  Confederate season, else no creature seeing242,

  Thou mixture rank243, of midnight weeds collected,

  With Hecate's ban244 thrice blasted, thrice infected,

  Thy natural magic and dire property245,

  On wholesome246 life usurp immediately.

  Pours the poison in his ears

  HAMLET He poisons him i'th'garden for's estate. His247 name's

  Gonzago: the story is extant and writ in choice Italian. You

  shall see anon how the murderer gets the love of Gonzago's

  wife.

  King stands

  OPHELIA The king rises.

  HAMLET What, frighted with false fire252?