The Comedy of Errors Page 6
To Angelo
And since I have not much importuned you,
Nor now I had3 not, but that I am bound
To Persia and want guilders for my voyage:
Therefore make present satisfaction5,
Or I'll attach6 you by this officer.
ANGELO Even just7 the sum that I do owe to you
Is growing8 to me by Antipholus,
And in the instant that I met with you
He had of me a chain. At five o'clock
I shall receive the money for the same.
Pleaseth12 you walk with me down to his house,
I will discharge13 my bond and thank you too.
Enter Antipholus [and] Dromio of Ephesus from the Courtesan's
OFFICER That labour may you save: see where he comes.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS While I go to the goldsmith's house, go thou
And buy a rope's end.16 That will I bestow
Among my wife and her confederates,
For locking me out of my doors by day.
But soft, I see the goldsmith; get thee gone,
Buy thou a rope and bring it home to me.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS I buy a thousand pound a year, I buy a rope.21
Exit
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS A man is well holp up22 that trusts to you:
To Angelo
I promised your presence and the chain,
But neither chain nor goldsmith came to me.
Belike you thought our love would last too long25
If it were chained together, and therefore came not.
ANGELO Saving27 your merry humour, here's the note
Shows a paper
How much your chain weighs to the utmost28 carat,
The fineness of the gold and chargeful fashion29,
Which doth amount to three odd ducats30 more
Than I stand debted31 to this gentleman.
I pray you see him presently discharged,
For he is bound to sea and stays but33 for it.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS I am not furnished with the present34 money.
Besides, I have some business in the town.
Good signior, take the stranger to my house
And with you take the chain and bid my wife
Disburse38 the sum on the receipt thereof.
Perchance39 I will be there as soon as you.
ANGELO Then you will bring the chain to her yourself.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS No, bear it with you, lest I come not time enough.41
ANGELO Well, sir, I will. Have you the chain about you?
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS An if I have not, sir, I hope you have,
Or else you may return without your money.
ANGELO Nay, come, I pray you, sir, give me the chain.
Both wind and tide stays for this gentleman,
And I, to blame, have held him here too long.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS Good lord! You use this dalliance48 to excuse
Your breach of promise to49 the Porpentine.
I should have chid50 you for not bringing it,
But like a shrew51 you first begin to brawl.
SECOND MERCHANT The hour steals on, I pray you, sir, dispatch.52
To Angelo
ANGELO You hear how he importunes me -- the chain!
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS Why, give it to my wife and fetch your money.
ANGELO Come, come, you know I gave it you even now.
Either send the chain or send me by some token.56
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS Fie, now you run this humour out of breath57:
Come, where's the chain? I pray you let me see it.
SECOND MERCHANT My business cannot brook59 this dalliance.
Good sir, say whe'er you'll answer60 me or no:
If not, I'll leave him to the officer.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS I answer you? What should I answer you?
ANGELO The money that you owe me for the chain.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS I owe you none till I receive the chain.
ANGELO You know I gave it you half an hour since.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS You gave me none, you wrong me much to say so.
ANGELO You wrong me more, sir, in denying it.
Consider how it stands upon my credit.68
SECOND MERCHANT Well, officer, arrest him at my suit.69
OFFICER I do, and charge you in the duke's name to obey me.
To Angelo
ANGELO This touches71 me in reputation.
To Antipholus
Either consent to pay this sum for me,
Or I attach you by this officer.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS Consent to pay thee that74 I never had?
Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou dar'st.
ANGELO Here is thy fee76, arrest him, officer.
Gives money
I would not spare my brother in this case,
If he should scorn me so apparently.78
OFFICER I do arrest you, sir, you hear the suit.
To Antipholus
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS I do obey thee, till I give thee bail.--
But, sirrah, you shall buy this sport as dear81
As all the metal in your shop will answer.82
ANGELO Sir, sir, I shall have law83 in Ephesus,
To your notorious shame84, I doubt it not.
Enter Dromio [of] Syracuse, from the bay
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Master, there's a bark of Epidamium
That stays but till her owner comes aboard,
And then, sir, she bears away. Our fraughtage87, sir,
I have conveyed aboard, and I have bought
The oil, the balsamum and aqua-vitae.89
The ship is in her trim90, the merry wind
Blows fair from land. They stay for nought at all
But for their owner, master, and yourself.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS How now? A madman? Why, thou peevish sheep93,
What ship of Epidamium stays for me?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE A ship you sent me to, to hire waftage.95
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a rope,
And told thee to what purpose and what end.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE You sent me for a rope's end98 as soon,
You sent me to the bay, sir, for a bark.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS I will debate this matter at more leisure
And teach your ears to list me with more heed.101
To Adriana, villain, hie thee straight.102
Give her this key, and tell her in the desk
Gives a key
That's covered o'er with Turkish tapestry,
There is a purse of ducats, let her send it.
Tell her I am arrested in the street,
And that shall bail me. Hie thee, slave, be gone.--
On, officer, to prison till it come.
Exeunt [all but Dromio of Syracuse]
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE To Adriana? That is where we dined,
Where Dowsabel110 did claim me for her husband.
She is too big, I hope, for me to compass.111
Thither I must, although against my will,
For servants must their masters' minds113 fulfil.
Exit
[Act 4 Scene 2]
running scene 5
Enter Adriana and Luciana
ADRIANA Ah, Luciana, did he tempt thee so?
Mightst thou perceive austerely2 in his eye
That he did plead in earnest, yea or no?
Looked he or4 red or pale, or sad or merrily?
What observation5 mad'st thou in this case,
Of his heart's meteors tilting6 in his face?
LUCIANA First he denied you had in him no7 right.
ADRIANA He meant he did me none, the more my spite.8
LUCIANA Then swore he that he was a stranger here.
ADRIANA And true he swore, though yet forsworn he were.10
LUCIANA Then pleaded I for you.
ADRIANA And what said he?
LUCIANA That love I begged for you, he begged of me.
ADRIANA With what persuasion did he tempt thy love?
LUCIANA With words that in an honest15 suit might move.
First, he did praise my beauty, then my speech.
ADRIANA Didst speak him fair?17
LUCIANA Have patience, I beseech.
ADRIANA I cannot, nor I will not, hold me still.19
My tongue, though not my heart, shall have his20 will.
He is deformed, crooked, old and sere21,
Ill-faced, worse bodied, shapeless22 everywhere,
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making24, worse in mind.
LUCIANA Who would be jealous then of such a one?
No evil lost is wailed26 when it is gone.
ADRIANA Ah, but I think him better than I say,
And yet would herein others' eyes were worse.28
Far from her nest the lapwing cries away29,
My heart prays for him, though my tongue do curse.
Enter Dromio of Syracuse
Running, with the key
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Here, go -- the desk, the purse! Sweet, now, make haste.
LUCIANA How hast thou lost thy breath?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE By running fast.
ADRIANA Where is thy master, Dromio? Is he well?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No, he's in Tartar limbo35, worse than hell.
A devil in an everlasting36 garment hath him,
One whose hard heart is buttoned up with steel37:
A fiend, a fairy, pitiless and rough38,
A wolf, nay, worse, a fellow all in buff39,
A back-friend, a shoulder-clapper, one that countermands40
The passages of alleys, creeks and narrow lands,
A hound that runs counter, and yet draws dryfoot well,
One that before the judgement carries poor souls to hell.
ADRIANA Why, man, what is the matter?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I do not know the matter, he is 'rested on the case.
ADRIANA What, is he arrested? Tell me at whose suit?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I know not at whose suit he is arrested well,
But is in a suit of buff which 'rested him, that can I tell.
Will you send him, mistress, redemption, the money in his desk?
ADRIANA Go fetch it, sister. This I wonder at,
Exit Luciana
That he, unknown to me, should be in debt.
Tell me, was he arrested on a band?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Not on a band, but on a stronger thing:
A chain, a chain, do you not hear it ring?
ADRIANA What, the chain?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No, no, the bell, 'tis time that I were gone.
It was two ere I left him, and now the clock strikes one.
ADRIANA The hours come back! That did I never hear.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE O, yes, if any hour meet a sergeant, a turns
back for very fear.
ADRIANA As if time were in debt. How fondly dost thou reason.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Time is a very bankrupt, and owes more than he's worth to season.
Nay, he's a thief too: have you not heard men say
That Time comes stealing64 on by night and day?
If a be in debt and theft65, and a sergeant in the way,
Hath he not reason to turn back an hour66 in a day?
Enter Luciana
With a purse
ADRIANA Go, Dromio, there's the money, bear it straight,
And bring thy master home immediately.
[Exit Dromio, with the purse]
Come, sister, I am pressed down with conceit69:
Conceit, my comfort and my injury.70
Exeunt
[Act 4 Scene 3]
running scene 6
Enter Antipholus of Syracuse
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE There's not a man I meet but doth salute1 me
As if I were their well-acquainted friend,
And everyone doth call me by my name:
Some tender4 money to me, some invite me,
Some other give me thanks for kindnesses,
Some offer me commodities to buy.
Even now a tailor called me in his shop,
And showed me silks that he had bought for me,
And therewithal took measure of my body.
Sure these are but imaginary wiles10,
And Lapland11 sorcerers inhabit here.
Enter Dromio of Syracuse
With the purse
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Master, here's the gold you sent me for.
What, have you got the picture of old Adam new-apparelled?13
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What gold is this? What Adam dost thou
mean?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Not that Adam that kept the Paradise16, but
that Adam that keeps the prison: he that goes in the calf's17
skin that was killed for the Prodigal, he that came behind
you, sir, like an evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE I understand thee not.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No? Why, 'tis a plain case21: he that went like
a bass-viol in a case22 of leather; the man, sir, that when
gentlemen are tired, gives them a sob and 'rests them.23 He, sir,
that takes pity on decayed men and gives them suits of24
durance. He that sets up his rest25 to do more exploits with his
mace than a morris-pike.26
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What, thou mean'st an officer?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band28: he that
brings any man to answer it that breaks his band29, one that
thinks a man always going to bed, and says, 'God give you
good rest31'.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Well, sir, there rest in32 your foolery. Is
there any ship puts forth tonight? May we be gone?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since,
that the bark Expedition put forth tonight, and then were you
hindered by the sergeant, to tarry for the hoy36 Delay.
Gives him the purse
Here are the angels37 that you sent for to deliver you.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE The fellow is distract38, and so am I,
And here we wander in illusions.
Some blessed power deliver us from hence!
Enter a Courtesan
COURTESAN Well met, well met, Master Antipholus.
I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now.
Is that the chain you promised me today?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Satan avoid44, I charge thee tempt me not.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Master, is this Mistress Satan?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE It is the devil.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam47: and
here she comes in the habit of a light48 wench, and thereof
comes that the wenches say 'God damn me', that's as much
to say, 'God make me a light wench'. It is written, they appear
to men like angels of light, light is an effect of fire, and fire
will burn. Ergo52, light wenches will burn. Come not near her.
COURTESAN Your man and you are marvellous merry, sir.
Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner here.54
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Master, if you do, expect spoon-meat55, or
bespeak56 a long spoon.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Why, Dromio?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, he must have a long spoon that must58
eat with the devil.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Avoid then, fiend, what60 tell'st thou me of supping?
To the Courtesan
Thou art, as you are all61, a sorceress.
I conjure thee to leave me and be gone.
COURTESAN Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner,
Or, for64 my diamond, the chain you promised,
And I'll be gone, sir, and not trouble you.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Some devils ask but the parings66 of one's
nail, a rush67, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin, a nut, a cherry—
stone. But she, more covetous, would have a chain. Master,
be wise, an if69 you give it her, the devil will shake her chain
and fright us with it.
COURTESAN I pray you, sir, my ring, or else the chain.
I hope you do not mean to cheat me so?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Avaunt73, thou witch. Come, Dromio, let us go.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 'Fly pride', says the peacock.74 Mistress, that you know.
Exeunt [Antipholus and Dromio of Syracuse]
COURTESAN Now, out of doubt Antipholus is mad,
Else would he never so demean76 himself.
A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats,
And for the same he promised me a chain.
Both one and other he denies me now.
The reason that I gather he is mad,
Besides this present instance of his rage81,
Is a mad tale he told today at dinner,
Of his own doors being shut against his entrance.
Belike84 his wife, acquainted with his fits,
On purpose shut the doors against his way.
My way is now to hie home86 to his house,
And tell his wife that, being lunatic,
He rushed into my house and took perforce88
My ring away. This course I fittest choose89,
For forty ducats is too much to lose.
[Exit]
[Act 4 Scene 4]
running scene 6 continues
Enter Antipholus of Ephesus with a Jailer [or Officer]
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS Fear me not, man, I will not break away:
I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money
To warrant thee as I am 'rested for.3
My wife is in a wayward4 mood today,
And will not lightly5 trust the messenger
That I should be attached6 in Ephesus,
I tell you 'twill sound harshly in her ears.
Enter Dromio of Ephesus with a rope's-end
Here comes my man, I think he brings the money--
How now, sir? Have you that I sent you for?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS Here's that, I warrant you, will pay10 them all.
Gives the rope
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS But where's the money?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS I'll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate.14
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS To what end15 did I bid thee hie thee home?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS To16 a rope's-end, sir, and to that end am I
returned.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS And to that end, sir, I will welcome you.18
Beats him
OFFICER Good sir, be patient.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS Nay, 'tis for me to be patient, I am in adversity.