The Taming of the Shrew Page 5

  PAGE My lord, 'tis but begun.

  SLY 'Tis a very excellent piece of work, madam lady.

  Would253 'twere done!

  They sit and mark

  [Act 1 Scene 2]

  running scene 2 continues

  Enter Petruchio and his man Grumio

  PETRUCHIO Verona1, for a while I take my leave,

  To see my friends in Padua; but of all2

  My best beloved and approved friend,

  Hortensio, and I trow4 this is his house.

  Here, sirrah Grumio, knock, I say.

  GRUMIO Knock6, sir? Whom should I knock? Is there any man

  has rebused7 your worship?

  PETRUCHIO Villain, I say, knock me here soundly.

  GRUMIO Knock you here, sir? Why, sir, what am I, sir, that I

  should knock you here, sir?

  PETRUCHIO Villain11, I say, knock me at this gate

  And rap me well, or I'll knock your knave's pate12.

  GRUMIO My master is grown quarrelsome. I should knock you first,

  And then I know after who comes by the worst13.

  PETRUCHIO Will it not be?

  Faith, sirrah, an you'll not knock, I'll ring16 it.

  I'll try how you can sol-fa and sing it17.

  He wrings him by the ears

  GRUMIO Help, mistress18, help! My master is mad.

  PETRUCHIO Now, knock when I bid you, sirrah villain.

  Enter Hortensio

  HORTENSIO How now? What's the matter? My old friend Grumio

  and my good friend Petruchio? How do you all21 at Verona?

  PETRUCHIO Signior Hortensio, come you to part the fray?

  Con tutto il cuore, ben trovato23, may I say.

  HORTENSIO Alla nostra casa ben venuto, molto honorata signor

  mio24 Petruchio. Rise, Grumio, rise. We will compound25 this

  quarrel.

  GRUMIO Nay, 'tis no matter, sir, what he 'leges27 in Latin. If this

  be not a lawful cause for me to leave his service, look you, sir:

  he bid me knock him and rap him soundly, sir. Well, was it fit

  for a servant to use30 his master so, being perhaps, for aught I

  see, two and thirty, a pip out31?

  Whom would to God I had well knocked at first,

  Then had not Grumio come by the worst.

  PETRUCHIO A senseless villain! Good Hortensio,

  I bade the rascal knock upon your gate

  And could not get him for my heart36 to do it.

  GRUMIO Knock at the gate? O heavens! Spake you not these

  words plain, 'Sirrah, knock me here, rap me here, knock me

  well, and knock me soundly'? And come you now with,

  'knocking at the gate'?

  PETRUCHIO Sirrah, be gone, or talk not, I advise you.

  HORTENSIO Petruchio, patience. I am Grumio's pledge42.

  Why, this'43 a heavy chance 'twixt him and you,

  Your ancient44, trusty, pleasant servant Grumio.

  And tell me now, sweet friend, what happy45 gale

  Blows you to Padua here from old Verona?

  PETRUCHIO Such wind as scatters young men through the world,

  To seek their fortunes further than at home

  Where small experience grows. But in a few49,

  Signior Hortensio, thus it stands with me:

  Antonio, my father, is deceased,

  And I have thrust myself into this maze,

  Happily to wive53 and thrive as best I may.

  Crowns54 in my purse I have and goods at home,

  And so am come abroad to see the world.

  HORTENSIO Petruchio, shall I then come roundly56 to thee

  And wish57 thee to a shrewd ill-favoured wife?

  Thou'ldst58 thank me but a little for my counsel.

  And yet I'll promise thee she shall be rich,

  And very rich. But thou'rt too much my friend,

  And I'll not wish thee to her.

  PETRUCHIO Signior Hortensio, 'twixt such friends as we

  Few words suffice: and therefore, if thou know

  One rich enough to be Petruchio's wife --

  As wealth is burden65 of my wooing dance --

  Be she as foul as was Florentius' love66,

  As old as Sibyl67 and as curst and shrewd

  As Socrates' Xanthippe68, or a worse,

  She moves me not69, or not removes, at least,

  Affection's edge in me, were she as rough

  As are the swelling Adriatic seas.

  I come to wive it wealthily in Padua,

  If wealthily, then happily in Padua.

  GRUMIO Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his mind74

  is. Why, give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet or

  an aglet-baby76; or an old trot with ne'er a tooth in her head,

  though she have as many diseases as two and fifty horses.

  Why, nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal78.

  HORTENSIO Petruchio, since we are stepped thus far in79,

  I will continue that I broached80 in jest.

  I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife

  With wealth enough and young and beauteous,

  Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman.

  Her only fault, and that is faults enough,

  Is that she is intolerable85 curst

  And shrewd and froward, so beyond all measure

  That, were my state87 far worser than it is,

  I would not wed her for a mine of gold.

  PETRUCHIO Hortensio, peace! Thou know'st not gold's effect.

  Tell me her father's name and 'tis enough,

  For I will board91 her, though she chide as loud

  As thunder when the clouds in autumn crack92.

  HORTENSIO Her father is Baptista Minola,

  An affable and courteous gentleman.

  Her name is Katherina Minola,

  Renowned in Padua for her scolding tongue.

  PETRUCHIO I know her father, though I know not her,

  And he knew my deceased father well.

  I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her,

  And therefore let me be thus bold with you

  To give you over101 at this first encounter,

  Unless you will accompany me thither.

  GRUMIO I pray you, sir, let him go while the humour103 lasts. O'

  my word, an104 she knew him as well as I do, she would think

  scolding would do little good upon him. She may perhaps

  call him half a score106 knaves or so. Why, that's nothing; an he

  begin once, he'll rail107 in his rope-tricks. I'll tell you what, sir,

  an she stand108 him but a little, he will throw a figure in her

  face and so disfigure her with it that she shall have no more

  eyes to see withal110 than a cat. You know him not, sir.

  HORTENSIO Tarry, Petruchio, I must go with thee,

  For in Baptista's keep112 my treasure is:

  He hath the jewel of my life in hold113,

  His youngest daughter, beautiful Bianca,

  And her withholds from me and other more115,

  Suitors to her and rivals in my love,

  Supposing it a thing impossible,

  For those defects118 I have before rehearsed,

  That ever Katherina will be wooed:

  Therefore this order120 hath Baptista ta'en,

  That none shall have access unto Bianca

  Till Katherine the curst have got a husband.

  GRUMIO Katherine the curst!

  A title for a maid of all titles the worst.

  HORTENSIO Now shall my friend Petruchio do me grace125,

  And offer me disguised in sober robes

  To old Baptista as a schoolmaster

  Well seen128 in music, to instruct Bianca,

  That so I may by this device at least

  Have leave and leisure to make love to130 her

  And unsuspected court her by her
self.

  Enter Gremio and Lucentio disguised

  GRUMIO Here's no knavery!132 See, to beguile the old folks, how

  the young folks lay their heads together! Master, master, look

  about you. Who goes there, ha?

  HORTENSIO Peace, Grumio, it is the rival of my love.

  Petruchio, stand by a while.

  They stand aside

  GRUMIO A proper stripling137 and an amorous!

  Aside

  GREMIO O, very well, I have perused the note138.

  To Lucentio

  Hark you, sir, I'll have them very fairly139 bound --

  All books of love, see that at any hand140 --

  And see you read no other lectures141 to her.

  You understand me. Over and beside

  Signior Baptista's liberality143,

  I'll mend it with a largesse144. Take your paper too,

  Gives Lucentio the note

  And let me have them145 very well perfumed,

  For she is sweeter than perfume itself

  To whom they go to. What will you read to her?

  LUCENTIO Whate'er I read to her, I'll plead for you

  As for my patron, stand you so assured,

  As firmly as yourself were still in place150 --

  Yea, and perhaps with more successful words

  Than you, unless you were a scholar, sir.

  GREMIO O, this learning, what a thing it is!

  GRUMIO O, this woodcock154, what an ass it is!

  Aside

  PETRUCHIO Peace, sirrah!

  HORTENSIO Grumio, mum.-- God save you, Signior Gremio.

  GREMIO And you are well met157, Signior Hortensio.

  Trow you158 whither I am going? To Baptista Minola.

  I promised to inquire carefully

  About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca,

  And by good fortune I have lighted well

  On this young man, for learning and behaviour

  Fit for her turn163, well read in poetry

  And other books, good ones, I warrant ye.

  HORTENSIO 'Tis well. And I have met a gentleman

  Hath promised me to help me to166 another,

  A fine musician to instruct our mistress.

  So shall I no whit be behind in duty

  To fair Bianca, so beloved of me.

  GREMIO Beloved of me, and that my deeds shall prove.

  GRUMIO And that his bags171 shall prove.

  Aside

  HORTENSIO Gremio, 'tis now no time to vent172 our love.

  Listen to me, and if you speak me fair173,

  I'll tell you news indifferent good for either174.

  Here is a gentleman whom by chance I met,

  Upon agreement from us to his liking176,

  Will undertake to woo curst Katherine,

  Yea, and to marry her, if her dowry please.

  GREMIO So said, so done, is well179.

  Hortensio, have you told him all her faults?

  PETRUCHIO I know she is an irksome brawling scold:

  If that be all, masters, I hear no harm.

  GREMIO No, say'st me so, friend? What countryman?183

  PETRUCHIO Born in Verona, old Antonio's son.

  My father dead, my fortune lives for me,

  And I do hope good days and long to see.

  GREMIO O sir, such a life with such a wife were strange.

  But if you have a stomach188, to't a' God's name.

  You shall have me assisting you in all.

  But will you woo this wild-cat?

  PETRUCHIO Will I live?191

  GRUMIO Will he woo her? Ay, or I'll hang her.

  Aside?

  PETRUCHIO Why came I hither but to that intent?

  Think you a little din can daunt mine ears?

  Have I not in my time heard lions roar?

  Have I not heard the sea, puffed up with winds,

  Rage like an angry boar chafed197 with sweat?

  Have I not heard great ordnance198 in the field,

  And heaven's artillery thunder in the skies?

  Have I not in a pitched200 battle heard

  Loud 'larums201, neighing steeds, and trumpets' clang?

  And do you tell me of a woman's tongue,

  That gives not half so great a blow to hear

  As will a chestnut in a farmer's fire204?

  Tush, tush! Fear205 boys with bugs.

  GRUMIO For he fears none.

  GREMIO Hortensio, hark:

  This gentleman is happily arrived,

  My mind presumes, for his own good and yours.

  HORTENSIO I promised we would be contributors

  And bear his charge211 of wooing whatsoe'er.

  GREMIO And so we will, provided that he win her.

  GRUMIO I would I were as sure of a good dinner.

  Enter Tranio brave [disguised as Lucentio] and Biondello

  TRANIO Gentlemen, God save you. If I may be bold,

  Tell me, I beseech you, which is the readiest215 way

  To the house of Signior Baptista Minola?

  BIONDELLO He that has the two fair daughters, is't he you mean?

  TRANIO Even he, Biondello.

  GREMIO Hark you, sir, you mean not her to--219

  TRANIO Perhaps, him and her, sir. What have you to do?220

  PETRUCHIO Not her that chides, sir, at any hand, I pray.

  TRANIO I love no chiders222, sir. Biondello, let's away.

  LUCENTIO Well begun223, Tranio.

  Aside

  HORTENSIO Sir, a word ere224 you go:

  Are you a suitor to the maid you talk of, yea or no?

  TRANIO And if I be, sir, is it any offence?

  GREMIO No, if without more words you will get you hence.

  TRANIO Why, sir, I pray, are not the streets as free

  For me as for you?

  GREMIO But so is not she.

  TRANIO For what reason, I beseech you?

  GREMIO For this reason, if you'll know,

  That she's the choice233 love of Signior Gremio.

  HORTENSIO That she's the chosen of Signior Hortensio.

  TRANIO Softly, my masters. If you be gentlemen,

  Do me this right: hear me with patience.

  Baptista is a noble gentleman,

  To whom my father is not all238 unknown,

  And were his daughter fairer than she is,

  She may more suitors have, and me for one.

  Fair Leda's daughter241 had a thousand wooers,

  Then well one more may fair Bianca have,

  And so she shall. Lucentio shall make one,

  Though244 Paris came in hope to speed alone.

  GREMIO What, this gentleman will out-talk us all.

  LUCENTIO Sir, give him head246. I know he'll prove a jade.

  PETRUCHIO Hortensio, to what end are all these words?

  HORTENSIO Sir, let me be so bold as ask you,

  Did you yet ever see Baptista's daughter?

  TRANIO No, sir, but hear I do that he hath two:

  The one as famous for a scolding tongue

  As is the other for beauteous modesty.

  PETRUCHIO Sir, sir, the first's for me, let her go by253.

  GREMIO Yea, leave that labour to great Hercules254,

  And let it be255 more than Alcides' twelve.

  PETRUCHIO Sir, understand you this of me, in sooth256:

  The youngest daughter whom you hearken for257,

  Her father keeps from all access of suitors,

  And will not promise her to any man

  Until the elder sister first be wed.

  The younger then is free, and not before.

  TRANIO If it be so, sir, that you are the man

  Must stead263 us all and me amongst the rest,

  And if you break the ice and do this feat,

  Achieve the elder, set the younger free

  For our access, whose hap266 shall be to have her

  Will not so graceless be to be ingrate267.


  HORTENSIO Sir, you say well, and well you do conceive268.

  And since you do profess to be a suitor,

  You must, as we do, gratify270 this gentleman,

  To whom we all rest271 generally beholding.

  TRANIO Sir, I shall not be slack, in sign whereof,

  Please ye we may contrive273 this afternoon

  And quaff carouses274 to our mistress' health,

  And do as adversaries275 do in law,

  Strive276 mightily, but eat and drink as friends.

  GRUMIO AND BIONDELLO O excellent motion277! Fellows, let's be gone.

  HORTENSIO The motion's good indeed and be it so,

  Petruchio, I shall be your ben venuto279.

  Exeunt

  [Act 2 Scene 1]

  running scene 3

  Enter Katherina and Bianca

  Bianca's hands tied

  BIANCA Good sister, wrong me not, nor wrong yourself,

  To make a bondmaid2 and a slave of me.

  That I disdain. But for these other goods3,

  Unbind4 my hands, I'll pull them off myself,

  Yea, all my raiment5, to my petticoat,

  Or what you will command me will I do,

  So well I know my duty to my elders.

  KATE Of all thy suitors here I charge thee tell

  Whom thou lov'st best: see thou dissemble9 not.

  BIANCA Believe me, sister, of all the men alive

  I never yet beheld that special11 face

  Which I could fancy more than any other.

  KATE Minion13, thou liest. Is't not Hortensio?

  BIANCA If you affect14 him, sister, here I swear

  I'll plead for you myself, but you shall have him.

  KATE O, then belike you fancy riches more:

  You will have Gremio to keep you fair17.

  BIANCA Is it for him you do envy18 me so?

  Nay then you jest, and now I well perceive

  You have but jested with me all this while.

  I prithee sister Kate, untie my hands.

  KATE If that be jest, then all the rest was so.

  Strikes her

  Enter Baptista

  BAPTISTA Why, how now, dame23? Whence grows this insolence?--

  Bianca, stand aside. Poor girl, she weeps.

  Go ply thy needle25, meddle not with her.--

  For shame, thou hilding26 of a devilish spirit,

  Why dost thou wrong her that did ne'er wrong thee?

  When did she cross28 thee with a bitter word?

  KATE Her silence flouts29 me, and I'll be revenged.

  Flies after Bianca

  BAPTISTA What, in my sight? Bianca, get thee in.

  Exit [Bianca]

  KATE What, will you not suffer31 me? Nay, now I see

  She is your treasure, she must have a husband,

  I must dance barefoot on her wedding day33,

  And for your love to her lead apes in hell34.

  Talk not to me. I will go sit and weep

  Till I can find occasion of36 revenge.

  [Exit]

  BAPTISTA Was ever gentleman thus grieved as I?

  But who comes here?

  Enter Gremio, Lucentio in the habit of a mean man, Petruchio with [Hortensio as a musician, and] Tranio, with his boy [Biondello] bearing a lute and books

  GREMIO Good morrow, neighbour Baptista.

  BAPTISTA Good morrow, neighbour Gremio.

  God save you, gentlemen!

  PETRUCHIO And you, good sir. Pray, have you not a daughter

  Called Katherina, fair and virtuous?