King John/Henry VIII (Signet Classics) Page 4

  BASTARD Brother, take you my land, I'll take my chance.

  Your face hath got five hundred pound a year,

  Yet sell your face for five pence and 'tis dear154.--

  Madam, I'll follow you unto the death.

  QUEEN ELINOR Nay, I would have you go before me thither156.

  BASTARD Our country manners give our betters way157.

  KING JOHN What is thy name?

  BASTARD Philip, my liege, so is my name begun,

  Philip, good old sir Robert's wife's eldest son.

  KING JOHN From henceforth bear his name whose form161 thou bear'st:

  He knights the Bastard

  Kneel thou down Philip, but rise162 more great,

  Arise sir Richard, and Plantagenet.

  BASTARD Brother by th'mother's side, give me your hand:

  My father gave me honour, yours gave land:

  Now blessed be the hour166 by night or day,

  When I was got, Sir Robert was away.

  QUEEN ELINOR The very spirit of Plantagenet:

  I am thy grandam169, Richard: call me so.

  BASTARD Madam, by chance, but not by truth: what though170?

  Something about a little from the right171,

  In at the window, or else o'er the hatch172:

  Who dares not stir by day must walk173 by night,

  And have is have, however men do catch174:

  Near or far off, well won is still well shot175,

  And I am I, howe'er I was begot.

  KING JOHN Go, Falconbridge, now hast thou thy desire:

  A landless knight makes thee a landed squire.--

  Come, madam, and come, Richard, we must speed179

  For France, for France, for it is more than need180.

  BASTARD Brother, adieu181: good fortune come to thee,

  For thou wast got i'th'way of honesty.

  Exeunt all but Bastard

  A foot183 of honour better than I was,

  But many a many184 foot of land the worse.

  Well, now can I make any Joan185 a lady.

  'Good den, Sir Richard' -- 'God-a-mercy186, fellow' --

  And if his name be George, I'll call him Peter;

  For new-made honour doth forget men's names:

  'Tis too respective189 and too sociable

  For your conversion190. Now your traveller,

  He and his toothpick at my worship's mess191,

  And when my knightly stomach is sufficed192,

  Why then I suck my teeth and catechize193

  My picked man of countries194: 'My dear sir,'

  Thus leaning on mine elbow I begin,

  'I shall beseech you'; that is Question now,

  And then comes Answer like an Absey book197:

  'O sir,' says Answer, 'at your best command,

  At your employment, at your service, sir.'

  'No, sir,' says Question, 'I, sweet sir, at yours.'

  And so, ere Answer knows what Question would201,

  Saving in dialogue of compliment202,

  And talking of the Alps and Apennines,

  The Pyrenean and the river Po,

  It draws toward supper in conclusion so205.

  But this is worshipful society,

  And fits the mounting207 spirit like myself;

  For he is but a bastard to the time208

  That doth not smack of observation209,

  And so am I210 whether I smack or no:

  And not alone in habit and device211,

  Exterior form, outward accoutrement212,

  But from the inward motion213 to deliver

  Sweet, sweet, sweet poison for the age's tooth214,

  Which though I will not practise215 to deceive,

  Yet to avoid deceit I mean to learn216;

  For it shall strew the footsteps of my rising217.

  Enter Lady Falconbridge and James Gurney

  But who comes in such haste in riding-robes218?

  What woman-post219 is this? Hath she no husband

  That will take pains to blow a horn220 before her?

  O me, 'tis my mother.-- How now, good lady?

  What brings you here to court so hastily?

  LADY FALCONBRIDGE Where is that slave223 thy brother? Where is he

  That holds in chase mine honour up and down224?

  BASTARD My brother Robert, old Sir Robert's son,

  Colbrand the Giant226, that same mighty man,

  Is it Sir Robert's son that you seek so?

  LADY FALCONBRIDGE Sir Robert's son, ay, thou unreverend228 boy,

  Sir Robert's son. Why scorn'st thou at Sir Robert?

  He is Sir Robert's son, and so art thou.

  BASTARD James Gurney, wilt thou give us leave231 a while?

  GURNEY Good leave, good Philip.

  BASTARD Philip Sparrow233, James,

  There's toys abroad: anon234 I'll tell thee more.

  Exit James [Gurney]

  Madam, I was not old Sir Robert's son:

  Sir Robert might have eat his part in236 me

  Upon Good Friday, and ne'er broke his fast:

  Sir Robert could do well, marry, to confess238:

  Could get239 me, Sir Robert could not do it;

  We know his handiwork240: therefore, good mother,

  To whom am I beholding241 for these limbs?

  Sir Robert never holp242 to make this leg.

  LADY FALCONBRIDGE Hast thou conspired with thy brother too,

  That244 for thine own gain shouldst defend mine honour?

  What means this scorn, thou most untoward knave245?

  BASTARD Knight, knight, good mother, Basilisco246-like!

  What! I am dubbed247, I have it on my shoulder:

  But, mother, I am not Sir Robert's son:

  I have disclaimed Sir Robert and my land,

  Legitimation250, name, and all is gone;

  Then, good my mother, let me know my father:

  Some proper252 man, I hope: who was it, mother?

  LADY FALCONBRIDGE Hast thou denied thyself a Falconbridge?

  BASTARD As faithfully as I deny254 the devil.

  LADY FALCONBRIDGE King Richard Coeur-de-lion was thy father:

  By long and vehement suit256 I was seduced

  To make room for him in my husband's bed:

  Heaven lay not my transgression to my charge258,

  That art the issue of my dear259 offence

  Which was so strongly urged past my defence260.

  BASTARD Now by this light, were I to get261 again,

  Madam, I would not wish a better father:

  Some sins do bear their privilege263 on earth,

  And so doth yours: your fault was not your folly264:

  Needs must you lay your heart at his dispose265,

  Subjected266 tribute to commanding love,

  Against whose fury and unmatched force

  The aweless lion could not wage the fight268,

  Nor keep his princely heart from Richard's hand:

  He that perforce270 robs lions of their hearts

  May easily win a woman's: ay, my mother,

  With all my heart I thank thee for my father:

  Who273 lives and dares but say thou didst not well

  When I was got, I'll send his soul to hell.

  Come, lady, I will show thee to my kin275,

  And they shall say, when Richard me begot,

  If thou hadst said him nay277, it had been sin;

  Who says it was278, he lies: I say 'twas not.

  Exeunt

  Act 2 Scene 1

  running scene 2

  Enter before Angiers, [on one side] Philip King of France, Lewis [the] Dauphin, Constance, [and] Arthur, [on the other side] Austria

  With their forces

  KING PHILIP Before Angiers well met, brave Austria.--

  Arthur, that great forerunner of thy blood2,

  Richard that robbed the lion of his heart

  And fought the holy wars in Palestine4,

  By5
this brave duke came early to his grave:

  And for amends to his posterity6,

  At our importance7 hither is he come,

  To spread his colours8, boy, in thy behalf,

  And to rebuke9 the usurpation

  Of thy unnatural10 uncle, English John:

  Embrace him, love him, give him welcome hither.

  To Austria

  ARTHUR God shall forgive you Coeur-de-lion's death

  The rather that you give his offspring13 life,

  Shadowing14 their right under your wings of war:

  I give you welcome with a powerless15 hand,

  But with a heart full of unstained16 love:

  Welcome before the gates of Angiers, Duke.

  LEWIS A noble boy: who would not do thee right?

  AUSTRIA Upon thy cheek lay I this zealous19 kiss,

  As seal to this indenture20 of my love:

  That to my home I will no more return

  Till Angiers and the right thou hast in France,

  Together with that pale, that white-faced shore23,

  Whose foot spurns24 back the ocean's roaring tides

  And coops25 from other lands her islanders,

  Even till that England, hedged in with the main26,

  That water-walled bulwark, still27 secure

  And confident from foreign purposes28,

  Even till that utmost corner of the west

  Salute thee for her king: till then, fair boy,

  Will I not think of home, but follow arms31.

  CONSTANCE O, take his mother's thanks, a widow's thanks,

  Till your strong hand shall help to give him strength

  To make a more requital to34 your love.

  AUSTRIA The peace of heaven is theirs that lift their swords

  In such a just and charitable war.

  KING PHILIP Well then, to work: our cannon shall be bent37

  Against the brows38 of this resisting town.

  Call for our chiefest men of discipline39,

  To cull the plots of best advantages40:

  We'll lay before this town our royal bones,

  Wade to the market-place in Frenchmen's blood,

  But we will make it subject to43 this boy.

  CONSTANCE Stay for an answer to your embassy44,

  Lest unadvised45 you stain your swords with blood:

  My lord Chatillon may from England bring

  That right in peace which here we urge in war,

  And then we shall repent each drop of blood

  That hot rash haste so indirectly49 shed.

  Enter Chatillon

  KING PHILIP A wonder, lady: lo50, upon thy wish,

  Our messenger Chatillon is arrived.--

  What England says, say briefly, gentle52 lord:

  We coldly53 pause for thee: Chatillon, speak.

  CHATILLON Then turn your forces from this paltry siege,

  And stir them up against55 a mightier task:

  England, impatient of56 your just demands,

  Hath put himself in arms: the adverse winds,

  Whose leisure I have stayed58, have given him time

  To land his legions59 all as soon as I:

  His marches are expedient60 to this town,

  His forces strong, his soldiers confident:

  With him along is come the Mother-Queen62,

  An Ate63 stirring him to blood and strife:

  With her her niece, the lady Blanche of Spain64:

  With them a bastard of the king's deceased65,

  And all th'unsettled humours66 of the land,

  Rash, inconsiderate, fiery voluntaries67,

  With ladies' faces and fierce dragons' spleens68,

  Have sold their fortunes at their native homes69,

  Bearing their birthrights proudly on their backs,

  To make a hazard of71 new fortunes here:

  In brief, a braver choice72 of dauntless spirits

  Than now the English bottoms have waft73 o'er

  Did never float upon the swelling tide,

  Drum beats

  To do offence and scathe75 in Christendom.

  The interruption of their churlish76 drums

  Cuts off more circumstance77: they are at hand:

  To parley78 or to fight therefore prepare.

  KING PHILIP How much unlooked-for is this expedition79!

  AUSTRIA By how much unexpected, by so much

  We must awake endeavour for defence,

  For courage mounteth with occasion82:

  Let them be welcome then: we are prepared.

  Enter King [John] of England, [the] Bastard, Queen [Elinor], Blanche, Pembroke and others

  KING JOHN Peace be to France, if France in peace permit

  Our just and lineal entrance to our own85;

  If not, bleed France, and peace ascend to heaven,

  Whiles we, God's wrathful agent, do correct

  Their proud contempt that beats88 his peace to heaven.

  KING PHILIP Peace be to England, if that89 war return

  From France to England, there to live in peace:

  England we love, and for that England's91 sake

  With burden of our armour here we sweat:

  This toil of ours should be a work93 of thine;

  But thou from loving England art so far,

  That thou hast underwrought his95 lawful king,

  Cut off the sequence of posterity96,

  Outfaced infant state97, and done a rape

  Upon the maiden virtue of the crown:

  Indicates Arthur

  Look here upon thy brother Geoffrey's99 face:

  These eyes, these brows, were moulded out of his;

  This little abstract101 doth contain that large

  Which died in Geoffrey, and the hand of time

  Shall draw this brief103 into as huge a volume:

  That Geoffrey was thy elder brother born,

  And this his son: England was Geoffrey's right,

  And this is Geoffrey's in the name of God:

  How comes it then that thou art called a king,

  When living blood doth in these temples beat

  Which owe109 the crown that thou o'ermasterest?

  KING JOHN From whom hast thou this great commission110, France,

  To draw my answer from thy articles111?

  KING PHILIP From that supernal judge112 that stirs good thoughts

  In any breast of strong authority,

  To look into the blots and stains of right:

  That judge hath made me guardian to this boy,

  Under whose warrant I impeach116 thy wrong,

  And by whose help I mean to chastise it.

  KING JOHN Alack118, thou dost usurp authority.

  KING PHILIP Excuse it is to beat usurping down119.

  QUEEN ELINOR Who is it thou dost call usurper, France?

  CONSTANCE Let me make answer: thy usurping son.

  QUEEN ELINOR Out122, insolent! Thy bastard shall be king,

  That thou mayst be a queen, and check123 the world.

  CONSTANCE My bed was ever to thy son as true

  As thine was to thy husband, and this boy

  Liker in feature126 to his father Geoffrey

  Than thou and John, in manners127 being as like

  As rain to water, or devil to his dam128.

  My boy a bastard? By my soul I think

  His father never was so true begot130:

  It cannot be, an if131 thou wert his mother.

  QUEEN ELINOR There's a good mother, boy, that blots132 thy father.

  CONSTANCE There's a good grandam, boy, that would blot133 thee.

  AUSTRIA Peace!

  BASTARD Hear the crier135.

  AUSTRIA What the devil art thou?

  BASTARD One that will play the devil137, sir, with you,

  An a may catch your hide138 and you alone:

  You are the hare of whom the proverb goes139,

  Whose valour plucks dead lions by the beard.


  I'll smoke your skin-coat an141 I catch you right:

  Sirrah, look to't142: i'faith I will, i'faith.

  BLANCHE O, well did he become143 that lion's robe

  That did disrobe the lion of that robe.

  BASTARD It lies as sightly145 on the back of him

  As great Alcides'146 shoes upon an ass:

  But, ass, I'll take that burden from your back,

  Or lay on that148 shall make your shoulders crack.

  AUSTRIA What cracker is this same that deafs149 our ears

  With this abundance of superfluous breath?

  KING PHILIP Lewis, determine what we shall do straight151.

  LEWIS Women and fools, break off your conference.

  King John, this is the very sum153 of all:

  England and Ireland, Anjou, Touraine, Maine,

  In right of Arthur do I claim of thee:

  Wilt thou resign them and lay down thy arms?

  KING JOHN My life as soon: I do defy thee, France.

  Arthur of Bretagne158, yield thee to my hand,

  And out of my dear love I'll give thee more

  Than e'er the coward hand of France can win.

  Submit thee, boy.

  QUEEN ELINOR Come to thy grandam, child.

  CONSTANCE Do, child, go to it163 grandam, child:

  Give grandam kingdom, and it grandam will

  Give it a plum, a cherry, and a fig165:

  There's a good grandam.

  ARTHUR Good my mother, peace.

  I would that I were low laid in my grave:

  I am not worth this coil169 that's made for me.

  QUEEN ELINOR His mother shames170 him so, poor boy, he weeps.

  CONSTANCE Now shame upon you, whe'er she does or no:

  His grandam's wrongs, and not his mother's shames,

  Draws those heaven-moving pearls173 from his poor eyes,

  Which heaven shall take in nature of a fee174:

  Ay, with these crystal beads175 heaven shall be bribed

  To do him justice and revenge on you.

  QUEEN ELINOR Thou monstrous177 slanderer of heaven and earth!

  CONSTANCE Thou monstrous injurer of heaven and earth,

  Call not me slanderer: thou and thine usurp

  The dominations, royalties180, and rights

  Of this oppressed boy: this is thy eldest son's son181,