Free Novel Read

As You Like It Page 4


  broke three of his ribs, that110 there is little hope of life in him.

  So111 he served the second, and so the third. Yonder they lie, the

  poor old man, their father, making such pitiful dole112 over

  them that all the beholders take his part with weeping.

  ROSALIND    Alas!

  TOUCHSTONE    But what is the sport, monsieur, that the ladies

  have lost?

  LE BEAU    Why, this that I speak of.

  TOUCHSTONE    Thus men may grow wiser every day. It is the first

  time that ever I heard breaking of ribs was sport for ladies.

  CELIA    Or I, I promise thee.

  ROSALIND    But is there any else longs to see this broken121 music

  in his sides? Is there yet another dotes upon rib-breaking?

  Shall we see this wrestling, cousin?

  LE BEAU    You must if you stay here, for here is the place

  appointed for the wrestling, and they are ready to perform it.

  CELIA    Yonder, sure they are coming. Let us now stay and

  see it.

  Flourish. Enter Duke [Frederick], Lords, Orlando, Charles and Attendants

  DUKE FREDERICK    Come on. Since the youth will not be

  entreated, his own peril on his forwardness129.

  To Le Beau

  ROSALIND    Is yonder the man?

  LE BEAU    Even he, madam.

  CELIA    Alas, he is too young, yet he looks successfully132.

  DUKE FREDERICK    How now, daughter and cousin133! Are you crept

  hither to see the wrestling?

  ROSALIND    Ay, my liege, so please you give us leave135.

  DUKE FREDERICK    You will take little delight in it, I can tell you,

  there is such odds in the man137. In pity of the challenger’s

  youth, I would fain138 dissuade him, but he will not be

  entreated. Speak to him, ladies, see if you can move him.

  CELIA    Call him hither, good Monsieur Le Beau.

  He stands aside

  DUKE FREDERICK    Do so. I’ll not be by.

  To Orlando

  LE BEAU    Monsieur the challenger, the princess

  calls for you.

  ORLANDO    I attend them with all respect and duty.

  ROSALIND    Young man, have you challenged Charles the

  wrestler?

  ORLANDO    No, fair princess, he is the general challenger: I

  come but in, as others do, to try148 with him the strength of my

  youth.

  CELIA    Young gentleman, your spirits are too bold for your

  years. You have seen cruel proof of this man’s strength: if

  you saw yourself with your eyes or knew yourself with your

  judgement, the fear of your adventure153 would counsel you to

  a more equal154 enterprise. We pray you for your own sake to

  embrace your own safety and give over this attempt.

  ROSALIND    Do, young sir: your reputation shall not therefore be

  misprized. We will make it our suit157 to the duke that the

  wrestling might not go forward.

  ORLANDO    I beseech you, punish me not with your hard

  thoughts, wherein I confess me much guilty, to deny so fair

  and excellent ladies anything. But let your fair eyes and

  gentle wishes go with me to my trial; wherein if I be foiled162,

  there is but one shamed that was never gracious163, if killed,

  but one dead that is willing to be so. I shall do my friends164 no

  wrong, for I have none to lament me, the world no injury, for

  in it I have nothing. Only in the world I fill up a place, which

  may be better supplied when I have made it empty.

  ROSALIND    The little strength that I have, I would it were with

  you.

  CELIA    And mine, to eke out170 hers.

  ROSALIND    Fare you well: pray heaven I be deceived171 in you!

  CELIA    Your heart’s desires be with you!

  CHARLES    Come, where is this young gallant that is so desirous

  to lie with his mother earth174?

  ORLANDO    Ready, sir, but his will175 hath in it a more modest

  working176.

  DUKE FREDERICK    You shall try but one fall177.

  CHARLES    No, I warrant178 your grace you shall not entreat him

  to a second, that have so mightily persuaded him from a first.

  ORLANDO    You mean to mock me after, you should not have

  mocked me before. But come your ways181.

  ROSALIND    Now Hercules be thy speed182, young man!

  CELIA    I would I were invisible, to catch the strong fellow by

  the leg.

  Wrestle

  ROSALIND    O excellent young man!

  Charles is thrown

  CELIA    If I had a thunderbolt in mine eye,

  I can tell who should down187.

  Shout

  DUKE FREDERICK    No more, no more.

  ORLANDO    Yes, I beseech your grace:

  I am not yet well breathed190.

  DUKE FREDERICK    How dost thou, Charles?

  LE BEAU    He cannot speak, my lord.

  Charles is carried out/To Orlando

  DUKE FREDERICK    Bear him away.—What is thy name,

  young man?

  ORLANDO    Orlando, my liege, the youngest son of Sir Rowland

  de Bois.

  DUKE FREDERICK    I would thou hadst been son to some man else:

  The world esteemed thy father honourable,

  But I did find him still199 mine enemy.

  Thou shouldst have better pleased me with this deed

  Hadst thou descended from another house.

  But fare thee well, thou art a gallant youth.

  I would thou hadst told me of another father.

  Exit Duke [with others; Celia, Orlando and Rosalind remain]

  To Rosalind

  CELIA    Were I my father, coz, would I do this?

  Aside?

  ORLANDO    I am more proud to be Sir Rowland’s son,

  His youngest son, and would not change that calling206

  To be adopted heir to Frederick.

  To Celia

  ROSALIND    My father loved Sir Rowland as his soul,

  And all the world was of my father’s mind:

  Had I before known this young man his son,

  I should have given him tears unto211 entreaties,

  Ere212 he should thus have ventured.

  To Rosalind

  CELIA    Gentle cousin,

  Let us go thank him and encourage him.

  My father’s rough and envious215 disposition

  To Orlando

  Sticks216 me at heart.— Sir, you have well deserved,

  If you do keep your promises in love

  But justly, as you have exceeded all promise218,

  Your mistress219 shall be happy.

  Gives him a chain from her neck

  ROSALIND    Gentleman,

  Wear this for me, one out of suits221 with fortune,

  That could give more, but that her hand lacks means.

  To Celia

  Shall we go, coz?

  CELIA    Ay.— Fare you well, fair gentleman.

  ORLANDO    Can I not say, I thank you? My better parts225

  Are all thrown down, and that which here stands up

  Is but a quintain227, a mere lifeless block.

  ROSALIND    He calls us back. My pride fell with my fortunes.

  To Orlando
/>
  I’ll ask him what he would229.— Did you call, sir?

  Sir, you have wrestled well and overthrown

  More than your enemies.

  CELIA    Will you go, coz?

  ROSALIND    Have with you233. Fare you well.

  Exeunt [Rosalind and Celia]

  ORLANDO    What passion hangs these weights upon my tongue?

  I cannot speak to her, yet she urged conference235.

  Enter Le Beau

  O poor Orlando, thou art overthrown!

  Or237 Charles or something weaker masters thee.

  LE BEAU    Good sir, I do in friendship counsel you

  To leave this place. Albeit you have deserved

  High commendation, true applause and love,

  Yet such is now the duke’s condition241

  That he misconstrues all that you have done.

  The duke is humorous: what he is indeed243

  More suits you to conceive244 than I to speak of.

  ORLANDO    I thank you, sir; and pray you tell me this:

  Which of the two was daughter of the duke

  That here was at the wrestling?

  LE BEAU    Neither his daughter, if we judge by manners,

  But yet indeed the taller249 is his daughter,

  The other is daughter to the banished duke,

  And here detained by her usurping uncle

  To keep his daughter company, whose loves

  Are dearer than the natural bond of sisters.

  But I can tell you that of late this duke

  Hath ta’en displeasure ’gainst his gentle255 niece,

  Grounded upon no other argument256

  But that the people praise her for her virtues

  And pity her for her good father’s sake;

  And, on my life, his malice ’gainst the lady

  Will suddenly260 break forth. Sir, fare you well.

  Hereafter, in a better world than this,

  I shall desire more love and knowledge262 of you.

  ORLANDO    I rest much bounden263 to you. Fare you well.

  [Exit Le Beau]

  Thus must I from the smoke into the smother264,

  From tyrant duke unto a tyrant brother.

  But heavenly Rosalind!

  Exit

  Act 1 Scene 3

  running scene 2 continues

  Enter Celia and Rosalind

  CELIA    Why, cousin? Why, Rosalind? Cupid1 have mercy, not

  a word?

  ROSALIND    Not one to throw at a dog.

  CELIA    No, thy words are too precious to be cast away upon

  curs5, throw some of them at me; come, lame me with

  reasons6.

  ROSALIND    Then there were7 two cousins laid up, when the one

  should be lamed with reasons and the other mad without

  any.

  CELIA    But is all this for your father?

  ROSALIND    No, some of it is for my child’s father11. O, how full of

  briars is this working-day12 world!

  CELIA    They are but burs13, cousin, thrown upon thee in

  holiday foolery: if we walk not in the trodden paths our very

  petticoats15 will catch them.

  ROSALIND    I could shake them off my coat16: these burs are in my

  heart.

  CELIA    Hem18 them away.

  ROSALIND    I would try, if I could cry ‘hem’ and have19 him.

  CELIA    Come, come, wrestle20 with thy affections.

  ROSALIND    O, they take the part of21 a better wrestler than myself!

  CELIA    O, a good wish upon you! You will try22 in time, in

  despite of a fall. But turning these jests out of service23, let us

  talk in good earnest: is it possible, on such a sudden, you

  should fall into so strong a liking with old Sir Rowland’s

  youngest son?

  ROSALIND    The duke my father loved his father dearly.

  CELIA    Doth it therefore ensue that you should love his son

  dearly? By this kind of chase29, I should hate him, for my

  father hated his father dearly; yet I hate not Orlando.

  ROSALIND    No, faith, hate him not, for my sake.

  CELIA    Why should I not?32 Doth he not deserve well?

  Enter Duke with Lords

  ROSALIND    Let me love him for that, and do you love him

  because I do. Look, here comes the duke.

  CELIA    With his eyes full of anger.

  To Rosalind

  DUKE FREDERICK    Mistress, dispatch you with your safest haste36

  And get you from our court.

  ROSALIND    Me, uncle?

  DUKE FREDERICK    You, cousin

  Within these ten days if that thou be’st found

  So near our public court as twenty miles,

  Thou diest for it.

  ROSALIND    I do beseech your grace,

  Let me the knowledge of my fault bear with me:

  If with myself I hold intelligence45

  Or have acquaintance with mine own desires,

  If that I do not dream or be not frantic47 —

  As I do trust I am not — then, dear48 uncle,

  Never so much as in a thought unborn

  Did I offend your highness.

  DUKE FREDERICK    Thus do all traitors.

  If their purgation52 did consist in words,

  They are as innocent as grace53 itself;

  Let it suffice thee that I trust thee not.

  ROSALIND    Yet your mistrust cannot make me a traitor;

  Tell me whereon56 the likelihood depends.

  DUKE FREDERICK    Thou art thy father’s daughter, there’s enough.

  ROSALIND    So was I when your highness took his dukedom,

  So was I when your highness banished him;

  Treason is not inherited, my lord,

  Or if we did derive it from our friends61,

  What’s that to me? My father was no traitor.

  Then, good my liege, mistake me not so much

  To think my poverty is treacherous.

  CELIA    Dear sovereign, hear me speak.

  DUKE FREDERICK    Ay, Celia, we stayed66 her for your sake,

  Else had she with her father ranged67 along.

  CELIA    I did not then entreat to have her stay,

  It was your pleasure and your own remorse69.

  I was too young70 that time to value her,

  But now I know her: if she be a traitor,

  Why so am I. We still72 have slept together,

  Rose at an instant, learned, played, eat73 together,

  And wheresoe’er we went, like Juno’s swans74,

  Still we went coupled and inseparable.

  DUKE FREDERICK    She is too subtle for thee, and her smoothness76,

  Her very silence and her patience

  Speak to the people, and they pity her.

  Thou art a fool: she robs thee of thy name79,

  And thou wilt show more bright and seem more virtuous

  When she is gone. Then open not thy lips.

  Firm and irrevocable is my doom82

  Which I have passed upon her: she is banished.

  CELIA    Pronounce that sentence then on me, my liege:

  I cannot live out of her company.

  DUKE FREDERICK    You are a fool. You, niece, provide86 yourself:

  If you outstay the time, upon mine honour,

  And in the greatness88 of my word, you die.

  Exeunt Duke and others

  CELIA    O my poor Rosalind, whither wilt thou go?

  Wilt thou change90 fathers? I will give thee mine.

  I charge thee be not thou more grieve
d than I am.

  ROSALIND    I have more cause.

  CELIA    Thou hast not, cousin.

  Prithee be cheerful; know’st thou not the duke

  Hath banished me, his daughter?

  ROSALIND    That he hath not.

  CELIA    No, hath not? Rosalind lacks then the love

  Which teacheth thee that thou and I am one.

  Shall we be sundered99? Shall we part, sweet girl?

  No, let my father seek another heir:

  Therefore devise with me how we may fly,

  Whither to go and what to bear with us.

  And do not seek to take your change103 upon you,

  To bear your griefs yourself and leave me out,

  For, by this heaven, now at our sorrows pale105,

  Say what thou canst, I’ll go along with thee.

  ROSALIND    Why, whither shall we go?

  CELIA    To seek my uncle in the Forest of Arden.

  ROSALIND    Alas, what danger will it be to us,

  Maids as we are, to travel forth so far!

  Beauty provoketh thieves sooner than gold.

  CELIA    I’ll put myself in poor and mean112 attire

  And with a kind of umber113 smirch my face.

  The like do you. So shall we pass along

  And never stir assailants.

  ROSALIND    Were it not better,

  Because that I am more than common tall,

  That I did suit me all points118 like a man?

  A gallant curtle-axe119 upon my thigh,

  A boar-spear120 in my hand, and — in my heart

  Lie there what hidden woman’s fear there will —

  We’ll have a swashing122 and a martial outside,

  As many other mannish cowards have

  That do outface it with their semblances124.

  CELIA    What shall I call thee when thou art a man?

  ROSALIND    I’ll have no worse a name than Jove’s126 own page,

  And therefore look you call me Ganymede127.

  But what will you be called?

  CELIA    Something that hath a reference to my state129:

  No longer Celia, but Aliena130.

  ROSALIND    But, cousin, what if we assayed131 to steal

  The clownish fool out of your father’s court?

  Would he not be a comfort to our travel133?

  CELIA    He’ll go along o’er the wide world with me.

  Leave me alone to woo135 him. Let’s away,