The Comedy of Errors Page 3

  THE COMEDY

  OF ERRORS

  LIST OF PARTS

  Solinus DUKE of Ephesus EGEON a merchant from Syracuse, father of the Antipholus twins

  Twin brothers, sons of Egeon

  ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

  ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

  Twin brothers and bondsmen of the Antipholus twins

  DROMIO OF EPHESUS

  DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

  ADRIANA wife of Antipholus of Ephesus LUCIANA her sister LUCE Adriana's kitchen-maid A COURTESAN

  ANGELO a goldsmith BALTHASAR a merchant FIRST MERCHANT

  SECOND MERCHANT Angelo's creditor Doctor PINCH a schoolmaster and exorcist EMILIA an abbess at Ephesus Jailer, Officer, Messenger, Servants and other Attendants

  Act 1 Scene 1

  running scene 1

  Enter Duke of Ephesus with [Egeon] the merchant of Syracuse, Jailer and other Attendants

  EGEON Proceed, Solinus, to procure my fall,

  And by the doom2 of death end woes and all.

  DUKE Merchant of Syracusa, plead no more.

  I am not partial4 to infringe our laws;

  The enmity and discord which of late

  Sprung from the rancorous outrage6 of your duke

  To merchants, our well-dealing7 countrymen,

  Who, wanting guilders to redeem8 their lives,

  Have sealed his rigorous statutes9 with their bloods,

  Excludes all pity from our threat'ning looks,

  For, since the mortal and intestine jars11

  'Twixt thy seditious12 countrymen and us,

  It hath in solemn synods13 been decreed,

  Both by the Syracusans and ourselves,

  To admit no traffic to our adverse15 towns.

  Nay, more: if any born at Ephesus

  Be seen at any Syracusan marts17 and fairs,

  Again, if any Syracusan born

  Come to the bay of Ephesus, he dies:

  His goods confiscate to the duke's dispose20,

  Unless a thousand marks be levied21

  To quit22 the penalty and to ransom him.

  Thy substance23, valued at the highest rate,

  Cannot amount unto a hundred marks,

  Therefore by law thou art condemned to die.

  EGEON Yet this my comfort: when your words are done,

  My woes end likewise with the evening sun.

  DUKE Well, Syracusan, say in brief the cause

  Why thou departed'st from thy native home,

  And for what cause thou cam'st to Ephesus.

  EGEON A heavier31 task could not have been imposed

  Than I32 to speak my griefs unspeakable.

  Yet, that33 the world may witness that my end

  Was wrought by nature34, not by vile offence,

  I'll utter what my sorrow gives me leave.35

  In Syracusa was I born, and wed

  Unto a woman, happy but37 for me,

  And by me, had not our hap been bad.38

  With her I lived in joy, our wealth increased

  By prosperous voyages I often made

  To Epidamium, till my factor's41 death

  And the great care of goods at random42 left,

  Drew me from kind embracements43 of my spouse;

  From whom my absence was not six months old

  Before herself -- almost at fainting under

  The pleasing punishment46 that women bear --

  Had made provision for her following me,

  And soon and safe arrived where I was.

  There had she not been long, but she became

  A joyful mother of two goodly sons,

  And, which was strange, the one so like the other,

  As could not be distinguished but by names.

  That very hour, and in the self-same inn,

  A poor mean54 woman was delivered

  Of such a burden, male twins, both alike.

  Those, for56 their parents were exceeding poor,

  I bought, and brought up to attend57 my sons.

  My wife, not meanly58 proud of two such boys,

  Made daily motions59 for our home return.

  Unwilling I agreed. Alas, too soon we came aboard.

  A league61 from Epidamium had we sailed

  Before the always wind-obeying deep62

  Gave any tragic instance63 of our harm.

  But longer did we not retain much hope,

  For what obscured light the heavens did grant

  Did but convey unto our fearful minds

  A doubtful warrant67 of immediate death,

  Which though myself would gladly have embraced,

  Yet the incessant weepings of my wife,

  Weeping before for70 what she saw must come,

  And piteous plainings71 of the pretty babes,

  That mourned for fashion72, ignorant what to fear,

  Forced me to seek delays73 for them and me.

  And this it was74-- for other means was none --

  The sailors sought for safety by our boat75,

  And left the ship, then sinking-ripe76, to us.

  My wife, more careful for the latter-born77,

  Had fastened him unto a small spare mast,

  Such as seafaring men provide for storms:

  To him one of the other twins was bound,

  Whilst I had been like81 heedful of the other.

  The children thus disposed, my wife and I,

  Fixing our eyes on whom83 our care was fixed,

  Fastened ourselves at eithe84r end the mast,

  And floating straight, obedient to the stream85,

  Was carried towards Corinth86, as we thought.

  At length the sun, gazing upon the earth,

  Dispersed those vapours that offended88 us,

  And by the benefit89 of his wished light,

  The seas waxed calm, and we discovered

  Two ships from far, making amain91 to us,

  Of Corinth that, of Epidaurus92 this.

  But ere93 they came -- O, let me say no more.

  Gather the sequel by that94 went before.

  DUKE Nay, forward95, old man, do not break off so,

  For we may pity, though not pardon thee.

  EGEON O, had the gods done so, I had not now

  Worthily98 termed them merciless to us:

  For ere the ships could meet by twice five leagues99,

  We were encountered by a mighty rock,

  Which being violently borne up upon,

  Our helpful ship was splitted in the midst,

  So that in this unjust divorce of us,

  Fortune had left to both of us alike

  What105 to delight in, what to sorrow for.

  Her part, poor soul, seeming as burdened

  With lesser weight, but not with lesser woe,

  Was carried with more speed before the wind,

  And in our sight they three were taken up

  By fishermen of Corinth, as we thought.

  At length, another ship had seized on us111,

  And knowing whom it was their hap112 to save,

  Gave healthful welcome to their shipwrecked guests,

  And would have reft the fishers of their prey114,

  Had not their bark115 been very slow of sail,

  And therefore homeward did they bend their course.

  Thus have you heard me severed from my bliss,

  That by misfortunes was my life prolonged,

  To tell sad stories of my own mishaps.

  DUKE And for the sake of them thou sorrowest for,

  Do me the favour to dilate121 at full

  What have befall'n of122 them and thee till now.

  EGEON My youngest boy, and yet my eldest123 care,

  At eighteen years became inquisitive

  After his brother, and importuned125 me

  That his attendant -- for his case was like126,

  Reft of his brother, but retained his name127 --

  Might bear him company in the quest of128 him:

/>   Whom whilst I laboured of a love129 to see,

  I hazarded the loss of whom I loved.130

  Five summers have I spent in farthest Greece,

  Roaming clean through the bounds132 of Asia,

  And coasting133 homeward, came to Ephesus,

  Hopeless to find, yet loath to leave unsought

  Or135 that or any place that harbours men.

  But here must end the story of my life,

  And happy were I in my timely death,

  Could all my travels warrant138 me they live.

  DUKE Hapless139 Egeon, whom the fates have marked

  To bear the extremity of dire mishap.

  Now trust me, were it not against our laws,

  Against my crown, my oath, my dignity,

  Which princes, would they, may not disannul143,

  My soul should sue144 as advocate for thee.

  But, though thou art adjudged145 to the death,

  And passed sentence may not be recalled

  But to our honour's great disparagement147,

  Yet will I favour thee in what I can;

  Therefore, merchant, I'll limit149 thee this day

  To seek thy health150 by beneficial help.

  Try all the friends thou hast in Ephesus,

  Beg thou or borrow to make up the sum,

  And live. If no, then thou art doomed to die.

  Jailer, take him to thy custody.

  JAILER I will, my lord.

  EGEON Hopeless and helpless doth Egeon wend156,

  But to procrastinate157 his lifeless end.

  Exeunt

  [Act 1 Scene 2]

  running scene 1 continues

  Enter Antipholus [of Syracuse], a Merchant [of Ephesus] and Dromio [of Syracuse]

  MERCHANT OF EPHESUS Therefore give out1 you are of Epidamium,

  Lest that your goods too soon be confiscate.

  This very day a Syracusan merchant

  Is apprehended for arrival here,

  And not being able to buy out5 his life,

  According to the statute of the town,

  Dies ere the weary sun set in the west.

  There is your money that I had to keep.8

  Gives money

  To Dromio

  ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Go bear it to the Centaur, where we host9,

  And stay there, Dromio, till I come to thee.

  Within this hour it will be dinner-time.11

  Till that, I'll view the manners12 of the town,

  Peruse13 the traders, gaze upon the buildings,

  And then return and sleep within mine inn,

  For with long travel I am stiff and weary.

  Get thee away.

  DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Many a man would take you at your word,

  And go indeed, having so good a mean.18

  Exit

  ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE A trusty villain, sir, that very oft19,

  When I am dull with care20 and melancholy,

  Lightens my humour21 with his merry jests.

  What, will you walk with me about the town,

  And then go to my inn and dine with me?

  MERCHANT OF EPHESUS I am invited, sir, to certain merchants,

  Of whom I hope to make much benefit.25

  I crave your pardon. Soon at26 five o'clock,

  Please you, I'll meet with you upon the mart,

  And afterward consort28 you till bed-time.

  My present business calls me from you now.

  ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Farewell till then. I will go lose myself

  And wander up and down to view the city.

  MERCHANT OF EPHESUS Sir, I commend you to your own content.32

  Exit

  ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE He that commends me to mine own content

  Commends me to the thing I cannot get.

  I to the world am like a drop of water

  That in the ocean seeks another drop,

  Who, falling there to find his fellow forth37 --

  Unseen, inquisitive -- confounds38 himself.

  So I, to find a mother and a brother,

  In quest of them, unhappy40, lose myself.

  Enter Dromio of Ephesus

  Here comes the almanac of my true date.41--

  What now? How chance thou art returned so soon?

  DROMIO OF EPHESUS Returned so soon? Rather approached too late:

  The capon44 burns, the pig falls from the spit,

  The clock hath strucken twelve upon the bell,

  My mistress made it one46 upon my cheek.

  She is so hot47 because the meat is cold,

  The meat is cold because you come not home,

  You come not home because you have no stomach49,

  You have no stomach having broke your fast50:

  But we that know what 'tis to fast and pray51

  Are penitent for your default52 today.

  ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Stop in your wind53, sir. Tell me this, I pray:

  Where have you left the money that I gave you?

  DROMIO OF EPHESUS O, sixpence that I had o'55 Wednesday last

  To pay the saddler for my mistress' crupper?56

  The saddler had it, sir, I kept it not.

  ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE I am not in a sportive58 humour now:

  Tell me, and dally not, where is the money?

  We being strangers here, how dar'st thou trust

  So great a charge from thine own custody?61

  DROMIO OF EPHESUS I pray you jest, sir, as you sit at dinner.

  I from my mistress come to you in post63,

  If I return I shall be post64 indeed,

  For she will score your fault upon my pate.65

  Methinks your maw66, like mine, should be your clock,

  And strike you home without a messenger.

  ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out of season68,

  Reserve them till a merrier hour than this.

  Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee?

  DROMIO OF EPHESUS To me, sir? Why, you gave no gold to me.

  ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Come on, sir knave, have done72 your foolishness,

  And tell me how thou hast disposed thy charge.73

  DROMIO OF EPHESUS My charge was but to fetch you from the mart

  Home to your house, the Phoenix75, sir, to dinner;

  My mistress and her sister stays76 for you.

  ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Now as I am a Christian, answer me,

  In what safe place you have bestowed my money,

  Or I shall break that merry sconce79 of yours

  That stands on tricks when I am undisposed.80

  Where is the thousand marks thou hadst of me?

  DROMIO OF EPHESUS I have some marks of yours upon my pate,

  Some of my mistress' marks upon my shoulders,

  But not a thousand marks between you both.

  If I should pay your worship those85 again,

  Perchance you will not bear them patiently.

  ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Thy mistress' marks? What mistress, slave, hast thou?

  DROMIO OF EPHESUS Your worship's wife, my mistress at the Phoenix;

  She that doth fast till you come home to dinner,

  And prays that you will hie90 you home to dinner.

  ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my face

  Being forbid? There, take you that, sir knave.

  Beats Dromio

  DROMIO OF EPHESUS What mean you, sir? For God's sake, hold your hands:

  Nay, an you will not, sir, I'll take94 my heels.

  Exit

  ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Upon my life, by some device95 or other

  The villain is o'er-raught96 of all my money.

  They say this town is full of cozenage97,

  As nimble jugglers98 that deceive the eye,

  Dark-working99 sorcerers that change the mind,

  Soul-killing witches that deform100 the body,

  Disguised cheaters, prating mountebank
s101,

  And many suchlike liberties of sin.102

  If it prove so, I will be gone the sooner.

  I'll to the Centaur to go seek this slave.

  I greatly fear my money is not safe.

  Exit

  Act 2 Scene 1

  running scene 2

  Enter Adriana, wife to Antipholus [of Ephesus], with Luciana, her sister

  ADRIANA Neither my husband nor the slave2 returned,

  That in such haste I sent to seek his master?

  Sure3, Luciana, it is two o'clock.

  LUCIANA Perhaps some merchant hath invited him,

  And from the mart he's somewhere gone to dinner.

  Good sister, let us dine and never fret;

  A man is master of his liberty:

  Time is their master, and when they see time8,

  They'll go or come; if so, be patient, sister.

  ADRIANA Why should their liberty than ours be more?

  LUCIANA Because their business still11 lies out o'door.

  ADRIANA Look, when I serve him so, he takes it ill.12

  LUCIANA O, know he is the bridle of your will.

  ADRIANA There's none but asses will be bridled so.

  LUCIANA Why, headstrong liberty is lashed15 with woe.

  There's nothing situate16 under heaven's eye

  But hath his bound17, in earth, in sea, in sky.

  The beasts, the fishes and the winged fowls

  Are their males' subjects and at their controls.19

  Man, more divine20, the master of all these,

  Lord of the wide world and wild wat'ry seas,

  Indued with intellectual sense and souls,

  Of more pre-eminence than fish and fowls,

  Are masters to their females, and their lords:

  Then let your will attend on their accords.25

  ADRIANA This servitude makes you to keep unwed.

  LUCIANA Not this, but troubles of the marriage bed.

  ADRIANA But, were you wedded, you would bear some sway.28

  LUCIANA Ere I learn love, I'll practise to obey.

  ADRIANA How if your husband start some other where?30

  LUCIANA Till he come home again, I would forbear.31

  ADRIANA Patience unmoved! No marvel though she pause32,

  They can be meek that have no other cause.33

  A wretched soul, bruised with adversity,

  We bid be quiet when we hear it cry.

  But were we burdened with like36 weight of pain,

  As much or more we should ourselves complain.

  So thou, that hast no unkind mate to grieve thee,

  With urging helpless39 patience would relieve me,

  But if thou live to see like right bereft40,

  This fool-begged patience in thee will be left.41

  LUCIANA Well, I will marry one day, but to try.42

  Here comes your man, now is your husband nigh.

  Enter Dromio of Ephesus

  ADRIANA Say, is your tardy master now at hand?

  DROMIO OF EPHESUS Nay, he's at two hands with me, and that my

  two ears46 can witness.

  ADRIANA Say, didst thou speak with him? Know'st thou his