The Oxford Shakespeare: The Complete Works Page 24
PETRUCCIO
It may not be.
GREMIO Let me entreat you.
PETRUCCIO
It cannot be.
KATHERINE Let me entreat you.
PETRUCCIO
I am content.
KATHERINE Are you content to stay?
PETRUCCIO
I am content you shall entreat me stay,
But yet not stay, entreat me how you can.
KATHERINE
Now, if you love me, stay.
PETRUCCIO Grumio, my horse.
GRUMIO Ay, sir, they be ready. The oats have eaten the horses.
KATHERINE
Nay, then, do what thou canst, I will not go today,
No, nor tomorrow—not till I please myself.
The door is open, sir, there lies your way.
You may be jogging whiles your boots are green.
For me, I’ll not be gone till I please myself.
’Tis like you’ll prove a jolly, surly groom,
That take it on you at the first so roundly.
PETRUCCIO
O Kate, content thee. Prithee, be not angry.
KATHERINE
I will be angry. What hast thou to do?
Father, be quiet. He shall stay my leisure.
GREMIO
Ay, marry, sir. Now it begins to work.
KATHERINE
Gentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner.
I see a woman may be made a fool
If she had not a spirit to resist.
PETRUCCIO
They shall go forward, Kate, at thy command.
Obey the bride, you that attend on her.
Go to the feast, revel and domineer,
Carouse full measure to her maidenhead.
Be mad and merry, or go hang yourselves.
But for my bonny Kate, she must with me.
Nay, look not big, nor stamp, nor stare, nor fret.
I will be master of what is mine own.
She is my goods, my chattels. She is my house,
My household-stuff, my field, my barn,
My horse, my ox, my ass, my anything,
And here she stands, touch her whoever dare.
I’ll bring mine action on the proudest he
That stops my way in Padua. Grumio,
Draw forth thy weapon, we are beset with thieves.
Rescue thy mistress if thou be a man.
Fear not, sweet wench. They shall not touch thee,
Kate.
I’ll buckler thee against a million.
Exeunt Petruccio, Katherine, and Grumio
BAPTISTA
Nay, let them go-a couple of quiet ones!
GREMIO
Went they not quickly I should die with laughing.
TRANIO
Of all mad matches never was the like.
LUCENTIO
Mistress, what’s your opinion of your sister?
BIANCA
That being mad herself she’s madly mated.
GREMIO
I warrant him, Petruccio is Kated.
BAPTISTA
Neighbours and friends, though bride and bridegroom
wants
For to supply the places at the table,
You know there wants no junkets at the feast.
Lucentio, you shall supply the bridegroom’s place,
And let Bianca take her sister’s room.
TRANIO
Shall sweet Bianca practise how to bride it?
BAPTISTA
She shall, Lucentio. Come, gentlemen, let’s go.
Exeunt
4.1 Enter Grumio
GRUMIO Fie, fie on all tired jades, on all mad masters, and all foul ways. Was ever man so beaten? Was ever man so rayed? Was ever man so weary? I am sent before to make a fire, and they are coming after to warm them. Now were not I a little pot and soon hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my belly ere I should come by a fire to thaw me. But I with blowing the fire shall warm myself, for considering the weather, a taller man than I will take cold. Holla! Hoa, Curtis!
Enter Curtis
CURTIS Who is that calls so coldly?
GRUMlO A piece of ice. If thou doubt it, thou mayst slide from my shoulder to my heel with no greater a run but my head and my neck. A fire, good Curtis!
CURTIS Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio?
GRUMlO O ay, Curtis, ay, and therefore fire, fire! Cast on no water.
CURTIS Is she so hot a shrew as she’s reported?
GRUMlO She was, good Curtis, before this frost; but thou know’st, winter tames man, woman, and beast, for it hath tamed my old master, and my new mistress, and myself, fellow Curtis.
CURTIS Away, you three-inch fool. I am no beast.
GRUMIO Am I but three inches? Why, thy horn is a foot, and so long am I, at the least. But wilt thou make a fire, or shall I complain on thee to our mistress, whose hand—she being now at hand—thou shalt soon feel to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy hot office.
CURTIS I prithee, good Grumio, tell me—how goes the world?
GRUMIO A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine. And therefore fire, do thy duty, and have thy duty, for my master and mistress are almost frozen to death.
CURTIS There’s fire ready, and therefore, good Grumio, the news.
GRUMIO Why, ‘Jack boy, ho boy!’, and as much news as wilt thou.
CURTIS Come, you are so full of cony-catching.
GRUMIO Why, therefore fire, for I have caught extreme cold. Where’s the cook? Is supper ready, the house trimmed, rushes strewed, cobwebs swept, the servingmen in their new fustian, the white stockings, and every officer his wedding garment on? Be the Jacks fair within, the Jills fair without, the carpets laid, and everything in order?
CURTIS All ready, and therefore, I pray thee, news.
GRUMIO First, know my horse is tired, my master and mistress fallen out.
CURTIS How?
GRUMIO Out of their saddles into the dirt, and thereby hangs a tale.
CURTIS Let’s ha’t, good Grumio.
GRUMIO Lend thine ear.
CURTIS Here.
GRUMTO (cuffing him) There.
CURTIS This ’tis to feel a tale, not to hear a tale.
GRUMlO And therefore ’tis called a sensible tale, and this cuff was but to knock at your ear and beseech listening. Now I begin. Inprimis, we came down a foul hill, my master riding behind my mistress.
CURTIS Both of one horse?
GRUMIO What’s that to thee?
CURTIS Why, a horse.
GRUMlO Tell thou the tale. But hadst thou not crossed me thou shouldst have heard how her horse fell and she under her horse; thou shouldst have heard in how miry a place, how she was bemoiled, how he left her with the horse upon her, how he beat me because her horse stumbled, how she waded through the dirt to pluck him off me, how he swore, how she prayed that never prayed before, how I cried, how the horses ran away, how her bridle was burst, how I lost my crupper, with many things of worthy memory which now shall die in oblivion, and thou return unexperienced to thy grave.
CURTIS By this reckoning he is more shrew than she.
GRUMIO Ay, and that thou and the proudest of you all shall find when he comes home. But what talk I of this? Call forth Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip, Walter, Sugarsop, and the rest. Let their heads be sleekly combed, their blue coats brushed, and their garters of an indifferent knit. Let them curtsy with their left legs and not presume to touch a hair of my master’s horse-tail till they kiss their hands. Are they all ready?
CURTIS They are.
GRUMIO Call them forth.
CURTIS (calling) Do you hear, ho? You must meet my master to countenance my mistress.
GRUMIO Why, she hath a face of her own.
CURTIS Who knows not that?
GRUMIO Thou, it seems, that calls for company to countenance her.
CURTIS I call them forth to credit her.
&nbs
p; Enter four or five servingmen
GRUMIO Why, she comes to borrow nothing of them.
NATHANIEL Welcome home, Grumio!
PHILIP How now, Grumio?
JOSEPH What, Grumio?
NICHOLAS Fellow Grumio!
NATHANIEL How now, old lad!
GRUMIO Welcome you, how now you, what you, fellow you, and thus much for greeting. Now, my spruce companions, is all ready and all things neat?
NATHANIEL All things is ready. How near is our master?
GRUMIO E’en at hand, alighted by this, and therefore be not—Cock’s passion, silence! I hear my master.
Enter Petruccio and Katherine
PETRUCCIO
Where be these knaves? What, no man at door
To hold my stirrup nor to take my horse?
Where is Nathaniel, Gregory, Philip?
ALL SERVANTS Here, here sir, here sir.
PETRUCCIO
Here sir, here sir, here sir, here sir!
You logger-headed and unpolished grooms,
What! No attendance! No regard! No duty!
Where is the foolish knave I sent before?
GRUMIO
Here, sir, as foolish as I was before.
PETRUCCIO
You peasant swain, you whoreson, malthorse drudge,
Did I not bid thee meet me in the park
And bring along these rascal knaves with thee?
GRUMIO
Nathaniel’s coat, sir, was not fully made,
And Gabriel’s pumps were all unpinked i‘th’ heel.
There was no link to colour Peter’s hat,
And Walter’s dagger was not come from sheathing.
There were none fine but Adam, Ralph, and Gregory.
The rest were ragged, old, and beggarly.
Yet as they are, here are they come to meet you.
PETRUCCIO
Go, rascals, go and fetch my supper in.
Exeunt servants
(Sings)
‘Where is the life that late I led?
Where are those—’
Sit down, Kate, and welcome. Soud, soud, soud, soud.
Enter servants with supper
Why, when, I say?—Nay, good sweet Kate, be merry.—
Off with my boots, you rogues, you villains. When?
(Sings)
‘It was the friar of orders gray,
As he forth walked on his way.’
Out, you rogue, you pluck my foot awry.
(Kicking a servant) Take that, and mend the plucking of the other.
Be merry, Kate. (Calling) Some water, here. What, hoa!
Enter one with water
Where’s my spaniel Troilus? Sirrah, get you hence,
And bid my cousin Ferdinand come hither—
One, Kate, that you must kiss and be acquainted with.
(Calling) Where are my slippers? Shall I have some water?
Come, Kate, and wash, and welcome heartily.
[A servant drops water]
You whoreson villain, will you let it fall?
KATHERINE
Patience, I pray you, ‘twas a fault unwilling.
PETRUCCIO
A whoreson, beetle-headed, flap-eared knave. Come, Kate, sit down, I know you have a stomach. Will you give thanks, sweet Kate, or else shall I? 145 What’s this—mutton?
FIRST SERVINGMAN
Ay.
PETRUCCIO
Who brought it?
PETER
I.
PETRUCCIO
’Tis burnt, and so is all the meat.
What dogs are these? Where is the rascal cook?
How durst you villains bring it from the dresser
And serve it thus to me that love it not?
There, (throwing food) take it to you, trenchers, cups,
and all,
You heedless jolt-heads and unmannered slaves.
What, do you grumble? I’ll be with you straight.
He chases the servants away
KATHERINE
I pray you, husband, be not so disquiet.
The meat was well, if you were so contented.
PETRUCCIO
I tell thee, Kate, ‘twas burnt and dried away,
And I expressly am forbid to touch it,
For it engenders choler, planteth anger,
And better ’twere that both of us did fast,
Since of ourselves ourselves are choleric,
Than feed it with such overroasted flesh.
Be patient, tomorrow’t shall be mended,
And for this night we’ll fast for company.
Come, I will bring thee to thy bridal chamber. Exeunt
Enter servants severally
NATHANIEL Peter, didst ever see the like?
PETER He kills her in her own humour.
Enter Curtis, a servant
GRUMIO Where is he?
CURTIS In her chamber,
Making a sermon of continency to her,
And rails, and swears, and rates, that she, poor soul,
Knows not which way to stand, to look, to speak,
And sits as one new risen from a dream.
Away, away, for he is coming hither.
Exeunt
Enter Petruccio
PETRUCCIO
Thus have I politicly begun my reign,
And ‘tis my hope to end successfully.
My falcon now is sharp and passing empty,
And till she stoop she must not be full-gorged,
For then she never looks upon her lure.
Another way I have to man my haggard,
To make her come and know her keeper’s call—
That is, to watch her as we watch these kites
That bate and beat, and will not be obedient.
She ate no meat today, nor none shall eat.
Last night she slept not, nor tonight she shall not.
As with the meat, some undeserved fault
I’ll find about the making of the bed,
And here I’ll fling the pillow, there the bolster,
This way the coverlet, another way the sheets,
Ay, and amid this hurly I intend
That all is done in reverent care of her,
And in conclusion she shall watch all night,
And if she chance to nod I’ll rail and brawl
And with the clamour keep her still awake.
This is a way to kill a wife with kindness,
And thus I’ll curb her mad and headstrong humour.
He that knows better how to tame a shrew,
Now let him speak. ’Tis charity to show.
Exit
4.2 Enter Tranio as Lucentio, and Hortensio as Licio
TRANIO
Is’t possible, friend Licio, that Mistress Bianca
Doth fancy any other but Lucentio?
I tell you, sir, she bears me fair in hand.
HORTENSIO
Sir, to satisfy you in what I have said,
Stand by, and mark the manner of his teaching. 5
They stand aside.
Enter Bianca, and Lucentio as Cambio
LUCENTIO
Now, mistress, profit you in what you read?
BIANCA
What, master, read you? First resolve me that.
LUCENTIO
I read that I profess, The Art to Love.
BIANCA
And may you prove, sir, master of your art.
LUCENTIO
While you, sweet dear, prove mistress of my heart. They stand aside
HORTENSIO
Quick proceeders, marry! Now tell me, I pray,
You that durst swear that your mistress Bianca
Loved none in the world so well as Lucentio.
TRANIO
O despiteful love, unconstant womankind!
I tell thee, Licio, this is wonderful.
HORTENSIO
Mistake no more, I am not Licio,
Nor a musician as I seem to be,
But
one that scorn to live in this disguise
For such a one as leaves a gentleman
And makes a god of such a cullion.
Know, sir, that I am called Hortensio.
TRANIO
Signor Hortensio, I have often heard
Of your entire affection to Bianca,
And since mine eyes are witness of her lightness
I will with you, if you be so contented,
Forswear Bianca and her love for ever.
HORTENSIO
See how they kiss and court. Signor Lucentio,
Here is my hand, and here I firmly vow
Never to woo her more, but do forswear her
As one unworthy all the former favours
That I have fondly flattered her withal.
TRANIO
And here I take the like unfeigned oath
Never to marry with her, though she would entreat.
Fie on her, see how beastly she doth court him!
HORTENSIO
Would all the world but he had quite forsworn.
For me, that I may surely keep mine oath
I will be married to a wealthy widow
Ere three days pass, which hath as long loved me
As I have loved this proud disdainful haggard.
And so farewell, Signor Lucentio.
Kindness in women, not their beauteous looks,
Shall win my love; and so I take my leave,
In resolution as I swore before. Exit
TRANIO
Mistress Bianca, bless you with such grace
As ‘longeth to a lover’s blessed case.
Nay, I have ta’en you napping, gentle love,
And have forsworn you with Hortensio.
BIANCA
Tranio, you jest. But have you both forsworn me?
TRANIO
Mistress, we have.
LUCENTIO Then we are rid of Licio.
TRANIO
I’faith, he’ll have a lusty widow now,
That shall be wooed and wedded in a day.
BIANCA God give him joy.
TRANIO Ay, and he’ll tame her.
BIANCA He says so, Tranio.
TRANIO
Faith, he is gone unto the taming-school.
BIANCA
The taming-school—what, is there such a place?
TRANIO
Ay, mistress, and Petruccio is the master,
That teacheth tricks eleven-and-twenty long